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Fan Fiction

Title: Cont@ct
Author: Trang Le Thu
Genre: Romance
Chapters: 2
Words: 24600
Finished: 21. December 2001

© Trang Le Thu 2001
Disclaimer: This story is a purely fiction. Nothing here is true!! Graphics are mine! My religion infos are very poor and also my knowledge of medicine, so some things are just guesses. Sorry for all mistakes!

He looked at a picture in his table. It was the picture that he treasured for four years. The picture of him and his first and maybe the last love. He brought the photo to every tour. Everyone who saw that picture can see their love brighten in their eyes. He looked at the photo for a while and then smiled. Then he turned back to his computer screen. He opened MS Word and started to type.

Life12.doc

Today she asked me for my photo. I wonder when she asked me for that. I'm so curious what does she things about me after seeing the picture. Will she notice that I'm Paddy Kelly? How will she react? Paddy Kelly - the name that I hate the most… If I only could stop to wear this name. It's even not my real name.
What is my name then? Hanna would surely say, that my name is Michael, but this name died together with her. I swore that she will be the only one who call me that way… But I swore that I'll be happy too, but I am not…
"Michael, I love you" those were the words that I still hear in my ear. When she passed this name died too. No one else call me that way. Even my brothers who used to call me 'Michael Patrick Kelly' when they were upset at me now stopped to call me that way. I whish I could hear that name again, saying by its only owner… but I know it's impossible, because she died… no, it's a wrong word… she didn't died… 'left' would be the right word. She just left… she didn't died.
Jennifer called me Peemkey. What is that? It's even not a name. Why she must to be so original. I didn't like that name, but I was so afraid of loosing her that I didn't want to tell her that. I was such a coward. This relationship was so weird… I was devoted to her just because I wanted to keep on dreaming. At the end I hurt at least 2 people… her and myself. I made her fall in love with me and I left her… like a unwanted dog… without any explanations. I wonder if she still hates German. But why German, if I'm an Irish? Actually, who am I? Paddy? Michael? Peemkey? PK? Where am I from? And where do I belong? Where am I going?
There were the days that I knew all the answers, but now… Why did she take away so much part of me? Why did she have to leave me…? And why she is till in my life, when Brenda, Sara, Jennifer, Becky left without any footprints in my heart? Why is that? Why all this happen to me? Who would answer those questions for me? Will it be Flutterby?

"Paddy, what are you doing?" Angelo asked suddenly.
"Hey, I didn't know that you came!" Paddy turned away from his computer screen.
"I'm not sure if you will know if someone come in this room and bring out all furniture." Angelo joked. "Are you chatting with her?"
"No, I'm not. I'm projecting our new cover."
"Uhm.. yeah… Tomorrow it a concert in Latvia. We must set off early so you'd better go sleep."
"Ok, mom!" Paddy answered.

"I would have came to Hanna's grave with you, but I had to take care of instruments. You know how our lovely crew treats my drums." Angelo said as they were already in their beds.
"It's ok."
"Tell me how it was!"
"Like always. Nothing special. I'm thinking of a new song for her. In three months is the anniversary of her departure. Times goes so fast. Five years… Five longest years of my life."
"You should let her go from your heart and settle down. Get married to someone and have babies."
"Do you think that I don't want it? I'm thirst of love. I need the warm of love. I wasn't to move on. I tried, but failed."
"Becky wasn't the right one for you. Nor your cyber-friend. Look for someone real, someone you can touch, someone who is single."
"It's not that easy."
"Maybe it's because you are afraid of love? You are afraid of burning again?"
"Maybe… I feel like I have a mission to do. And that mission is related with Hanna. I don't know. I just can't forget…"
"I wouldn't like to be in your skin!"
"Nor do I!"

It was Monday again. He had been waited so long to chat with her.

"Where are you now?"

"Somewhere in Russia. We are n our way to Moscow. My brother in law is from Moscow and we are going to visit his family.
I got your picture!"

"I wondered when you will mention that. And what do you think?"

"You are very good-looking. Your smile, your eyes… they were just beautiful. And your hands… I long for the day I could touch them and feel them on me."

"I can't wait to bury them in your hair."

"I think I know who you are, but be sure that nothing has changed. The fact that you are one of the more famous people in Germany doesn't change anything. For me you are still PK. On the contrary, I'm very proud to know you. I have never know any famous people."

"Famous people are like normal people. They just work a bit harder and get a bit more money. Apart from that famous people don't differ from 'normal' people."

"Woa… you sound like the fame irritates you."

"Well. It's true! Never did I like being famous. The price that I have paid and I'm paying for the fame is too high."

"So why don't you just drop it?"

"Because I don't know anything else to do. I don't have any professions and qualifications. Music is the thing I can do the best."

"Look in the bright side of fame. You can meet other famous people, help children, be loved by many."

"And be hated by many. You are right that the fame has its bright side too. Talking about children… Once we had a fan with an ill kidney. There were no hope… for many months her parents were looking for the new kidney for her, but with no results. Her last wish was to come to our concert. We use to have 'meet and greet' before concerts to meet ill children. And that day we met her and listened to the story of fighting for the life with tears in our eyes. I couldn't accept that such a young (15) and beautiful girl had to die just because they can't find the new kidney for her in time. I told my siblings to help her. So, in concerts, did we give away many flyers, appeals to our fans whether they could help. In our surprise, over 1000 fans wanted to give their own kidneys to her. After many exams only one fan could help that girl. As far as I know now they are best friends of each other. I remember how proud we were to introduce the public those two girls."

"Wow, it was a beautiful story."

"Yes, it was.
Kate, do you believe in God?"

"Yes, I'm a Catholic, why?"

"I'm also a Catholic. Last night I watched a documentary about Lourdes. I'm thinking of going there. I feel like I must find God again to keep on living."

"I have heard about the story of the miracle in Lourdes. Do you believe in it?"

"Of course I do!"

"Well, you don't need to go to Lourdes to find God. He is everywhere, he is even in your keyboard."

"I know that. I have had a good religious education, but I need to feel it. I want Got to feel my heart."

"I'm surprised that after all you've been through, you still keep the faith."

"I haven't kept it… When somebody you love the most have to die, the life lose its sense. And you also feel like God doesn't love you. I lost it, I lost the faith and I want to recover it again."

"I know that you had been suffering, but I don't think it's a good way to escape from reality."

"I don't want to escape. Just need to believe, to find the right path to go on."

"What is your path?"

"The path of someone looking for love. I have been reading many books lately about religion and guess what I found out?"

"What?"

"That God is in every religion, in Buddhism, Jawed, Muslim… He is just called different, but it's the same 'person'! And Great Mother is the feminine face of God."

"How did you come up to this?"

"Her symbol is water… The Goddess uses water as the means to manifest Herself. The Goddess, the Virgin Mary, the Great Mother is present in every religion on the face of the earth. She has been forgotten, prohibited and disguised, but Her cult has continued from millennium to millennium and continues to survive today. She is present in the first chapter of the Bible, when the spirit of God hovered over the waters, and He placed them below and above the stars. It was the mystic marriage of earth and heaven. And she s also present in the last chapter of the Bible."

"You must have studied the Bible very carefully. I think I'm gonna find my old Bible and read it again."

"You should definitively do that. It's the best book I've ever read. And then we will be able to discover the world and life together. Everything is in the Bible, all the answers to questions in life, maybe not always what you wish, but what is best."

"I know that 'Every person is created from love and in order to love and be loved. God is the love.'"

"Mother Teresa! Love is the key of our lives."

"I don't agree with that. Love is nothing more than the foolishness of childhood. Only some people are wise enough to understand this."

"The wise are wise because they love. The foolish are foolish because they think they can understand love. So… I'm sorry to say that, but you are not very wise."

"But you are?"

"Sort of… :)"

"Now I have to go, we will be back at this subject tomorrow ok?"

"Yeah, I can't wait. Discussing with you is very exiting."

"And by the way, I still think that the lunatics were those who invented the love…"

User Flutterby is offline. Your massage will be sent when the user is online.

"Lunatics invented the love! Good one!" he smiled to himself as he was turning off the computer.

"Paddy, are you ready? Our concert starts in an hour and we are still here! No sound check yet!" Angelo bumped into the hotel room where Paddy was.
"I'm on my way!"

In the tour bus.
"Any of you want to go to Lourdes with me?" Paddy asked loudly.
"Lourdes? The pilgrim place?" Jimmy asked.
"Yeah, soon will be the day of Immaculate Conception"
"What for?" Angelo wondered.
"What do you think?"
"I know what you are thinking about, Paddy!"
"Tell me!"
"You read the Bible the whole day and chat with that your friend about angels. You forgot about doing your CD cover. And now you want to go to Lourdes. You want to find her there?" Angelo said.
"Find who?"
"You know who!"
"Well… it's true! Partly! If you don't wanna come, just stay. I'll go there when this tour finish."
"Before or after?"
"Uh??"
"Don't tell me that you forgot!"
"Before! If you mean the anniversary!"
"So you didn't forget!"
Paddy rolled his eyes only.
"So no one is coming?"
"I will!" Maite raised her hand.
"Maite we are not in school, you don't need to raise hand when you want to say something!" Jimmy joked.
"I know butthead!"
"Paddy, write me to your list! I have nothing better to do anyway!" Jimmy turned to Paddy.

"PK? Are you there? I've been waiting for you since 7 morning. Why did you come so late today?"

"Because last night we had a concert and I was exhausted."

"Where are you doing now?"

"Who knows? :)"

"I have read the Bible last night!"

"And you have finished it?"

"Yeap! My husband thought I was crazy."

"You should not read it that fast. It's like drinking wine… You should do it slowly and analyze every drop to feel its aroma."

"Don't tell me that you are an expert of wine too."

"Let's say I know something about it!"

"Did you think over about lunatics?"

"Yeah yeah… Where did you get this one.
My own experience. It's a trap!"

"Explain me!"

"When it appears, we see only its light, not its shadow."

"True!"

"You have suffered, so did I. And god didn't listen to our prayers. Many times in my life I have tried to love with all my heart, and my love has wound up being trampled or betrayed. If God is love, he should care more about my feelings."

"I thought the same for past few years. You know why did I change my mind? Because love and suffering frees us from pain. In the same way that Jesus freed us from sin."

"You mean you like suffering?"

"No. There are defeats and no one can avoid them. But don't you think it's better to lose some of battles in the struggle for your dreams than to be defeated without ever even knowing what you are fighting for? It's risky falling in love, but it worth."

"I'm not that sure about that. I've been in love before. It's like a narcotic. At first it brings the euphoria of complete surrender. The next day, you want more and more. You're not addicted yet, but you like the sensation, and you think you can still control things. You think about the person you love for two minutes and forget them for three hours. But then you get used to that person, and you begin to be completely dependent on them. Now you think about him for three hours and forget him for two minutes. If he's not there, you feel like an addict who can't get a fix. And just as addicts steal and humiliate themselves to get what they need, you are willing to do anything for love."

"What a horrible way to put in."

"We should love the only those who can stay near us."

"But you never know what brings life!"

"Love's path is really complicated."

"Because on that path we can go either to heaven or to hell?"

"It's easier to get to hell than to heaven."

"But you can't judge future love by the rules of your past suffering."

"And you are telling me that?"

"Well, I mean that love is always new. Regardless of whether we love once, twice or a dozen time in our life, we always face a brand new situation. Love cam consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere. We simply must to accept it, because it's what nourishes our existence. We have to take love where we find it, even if that means hours, days, weeks of disappointment and sadness."

"You are thinking about Hanna, right? You think all your suffering is nothing because you were in love, you were happy once?"

"Hanna is only one love of my life. She touched me deeply. That the moment we begin to seek love, love begins to seek us too. And it saves us. She was the best love teacher that I have ever had. Love is the treasure of human's life. You have found your love, or you will find in spite of the barricade of stubborn opinions, preconceived ideas and textbooks."

"I have found, but unfortunately it cause it's one side love. I'm afraid he doesn't love me! I need a possible love, without the fear of losing."

"You are not talking about your husband?"

"No, I'm talking about you."

"I'm not a good partner for this. You know it the best."

"You see… Love is just the disappointment. The rubbish invented by lunatics. Don't be afraid, I'm not in love with you for real."

"Now he was a little disappointed as he read that we wasn't in love with him. He hoped maybe she felt something to him. Like he did about her… He wasn't sure if it was love, but he definitely felt something…"

"Say something! Paddy, are you still there?"

"Sure, I'm here! In a month I'll go to Lourdes with my siblings. I want to gave myself to God."

"Are you going to a seminary?"

"I haven't think about it yet, but who knows. :)"

"I hope not, because then we won't be able to talk again."

"I'll always have time for you!"


Life13.doc

Love… What is that actually. Flutterby - Kate, said it's just a dream, invented by lunatics… No, it's not true. This time she is wrong! Love is life! Love is everything people need to live! But when we lose love… How such a little person like me suppose to do when he lose the love? When he lose all that he ever wanted? Try to love again? How to do that? How to feel loved again? If I have to read the Bible thousand times to find the answers I'll do it. If I have to go to the end of the world to find them I'll do it… If must to come to heaven to be with you, you can be sure I'll do it!
I believed in God for the whole time. Everyday I prayed, so that we could be together. I believed in everything I told Kate today… And what do I have? I lived for love and I'm living for love, but why I'm so lonely?
It's look like she has convinced me that love is something we should keep away of. 

When he and Jimmy and Maite where in Lourdes, he wrote her everyday to tall her about miracles of this town. He told her the story of Bernadette who was the first to see the Immaculate Conception. He wrote her about his trip in her grave, to Saint-Savin. He described her lives of the seminarians. Their lives are not so solitary and mad as people thought. He remind himself everything he once forgot. He decided to live with God, for Got and to God. He even had the idea of staying in the monastery.

Lourdes 2001

Dear Kate,
I'm on my way to Poland. You might wonder why.
I told you many times, that I feel like I have a mission to do in this world.
Yesterday I joined to a session. I don't know how to call it. Anyway… During the session we were singing songs in Spanish. They were invocation to the Holy Spirit and the Virgin. First we asked for the rain. When it rained everybody put their hands up and spoke. Speeches out straight from the soul. Perhaps it was the language of angels. I didn't understand, but why and how they did it, but I tried to mimic myself and I felt incredible. My fear and hopeless was replaced by calm and solitude. When I began to spoke out my soul, I knew God heard me. I was free and I didn't need to seek for answers anymore. Love really can for miracles.
Later we formed a circle of ten, arms around each other each other's shoulders. Then we start to pray and sing Ave Maria. "May the immaculate Conception teach me love as she did. May love chase away all my pain." It was my prayer.
When I came back home I was terribly weary. I put down for a nap.
Suddenly a woman in white called my name. First she was hiding after curtains, but when she show up I recognized it was Hanna. She was as beautiful as I remembered. She was smiling to me.
"Paddy, my dear!" she said.
"Hanna, you are back to me! God has listened to my prayers." I sat up in my bed trying to touch her.
"Honey! I'm not coming back to you. I'm here because I have a mission for you!"
I couldn't reach her… I couldn't touch her. She was so close, yet so far. I didn't listen to her, but tried hard to hold her.
"Paddy, listen to me! There is someone who needs you! Someone who is crying for your help. You must help him!"
"I missed you, Hanna. Where have you been all the time?"
"I was always by your side… And his side. Please, Michael, you are the only one who can help him."
"You haven't call me like that for ages. Nobody did, actually." I still tried to touch her.
"Michael, you can't touch me. I know how do you feel, really. There is a chance for us to meet for the last time, but first I have to get wings!"
"You are an angel?"
"Almost, I haven't got the wings yet because I violate two God's laws at once! I committed suicide and tried to kill my soul too. You are the only one who can give me the wings."
"But I don't want you to go!"
"You have to let me go. For the few last days you have leant many things and you understand God more. If you want God to follow your prayers, you should listen to your heart."
"I want to be with you!"
"You can't! Instead of it, you can give me a pair of wings which will make me happy. I can't stand being the 'half-angel' anymore."
"But then you'll leave?"
"This is my mission. To leave…God didn't want me to leave like that. He wanted to try my faith… our faith. If we had passed this test we would have been very happy together, but I failed. I made you unhappy. Now I have to leave your heart and you must let me go."
"I'll try my best! I promise!"
"There is one thing more. You have a mission too. You have to save someone's life. He is the dearest person for me. Please, save him! He is calling you!"
"Who is he?"
"I love you, Michael Patrick Kelly!"
She didn't answer my last question. She just disappeared… As I opened my eyes I heard my sister shaking me.
"What's up Maite!" I asked.
"Wake up, phone!" she gave me the phone.
"Couldn't it wait?" I murmured "Hallo?"
It was from Poland.
"It's me Tommy. Hanna's brother."
"Yeah I remember, may I help you?"
"Paddy, listen to me carefully. Wake up, rush in the car and drive to an airport really fast. You must fly to Poland. Urgently. I'll explain you more when we meet. I'll be waiting in the airport."
"But what is going on?"
"Just do what I say! Quickly!"
He didn't want to say anything more.
"Maite what is going on?"
"Don't know! You tell me."
I remembered Hanna's words last night. Somebody might be in need, maybe her brother, because she said she loved him the most. I dashed out of the bed as quickly as I could. Now I'm in the plane to Poland. I'll tell you more when I find out more. We are going to touch down soon.

Have a nice day!
PK

"What's up Tommy?" Paddy asked as he met Hanna's brother waiting for him.
"Here, get in!" Tommy opened his car and started to drive like crazy.
"Slow down! You want to kill us or what?"
"We have no time!"
"Will you tell me what is going on?"
"Paddy, there is a little boy, five years old. He is a very weak from his birth. His heart barely bits and he needs an operation. He has a very rare blood group. You are going to give your blood to him."
"Why me? Don't they have blood bank? And how do you know if I can help this boy? What if my blood group doesn't much?"
"It have to much! Here we are! Let's run."

They reached to a corridor. There were Hanna's parents. They looked very sad. Her mother's eyes were so red, like she was crying the whole night.

"Is it him?" a doctor asked.
"Yes, it's him." Tommy answered while Paddy was totally lost.
"Let's have a check! Just to make sure!" the doctor said to Paddy "Follow me, please!"
After a while they came back.
"We are going to have an operation right now!" the doctor said.
At this while a bed pushed by three nurses passed them. Hanna's mother suddenly cried out loud.
"Who was that?"
"He is the one you must save. If you've ever loved my sister you'll do as the doctor said." Tommy grabbed his next violently.
"Ok, if I only can help him I'll do it! You don't need to take Hanna in this."
"Let's go Mr. Kelly!"

Because they had no time to take Paddy's blood before they had to do the operation in the same time they took is blood, so Paddy was in the same room as the little boy. He had his eyes closed so he didn't see anything.

Five hours later he woke up in a dark room. His head was dizzy. He got up slowly and went out. He directed at Hanna's family's direction. The three of them were still waiting there nervously.
"What happened?" Paddy asked.
"You look pale, shit down!" Tommy offered him his seat.
"How was the operation?"
"We don't know yet! We are waiting for his reaction."
"When did the operation finished?"
"Just a half an hour ago! You passed out. You lost a lot of blood."
"May I ask who is this boy? What happened to him? And how did you know that my blood matches to his?"
Tommy looked at his parents asking for the agreement. His parents nodded.
"Paddy, we know that his blood would match to yours because… he is your son!"
"Are you kidding?" Paddy laughed. "I'm serious!" he made a tension face.
"So am I! He is yours and Hanna!" Tommy repeated.
"Excuse me?"
"He is you son, Paddy! Your son!"
"Uhm… my son? You are not making fool of me?"
"No, I'm not! He is your son and my sister's!"
"It's impossible. Hanna is gone and I don't remember that she was pregnant as we were together."
"Do you remember the plane crash?"
"Sure, how could I forget?"
"Well… The night before you spent the night together, I bet it happened that day. Two weeks after the crash we found out that Hanna was pregnant. This time she was still in hospital. Her face was… well… She wasn't paralyzed yet. She could have an operation and she would walk again. A few weeks later she supposed to have the operation. But she found out that she was pregnant and she had to choose… her legs or the baby. You know what her choice was… She spent the whole seven months in the hospital, till the confinement. From the beginning we knew that the baby wouldn't be as other baby… He was born two months too soon. And he was very weak." Tommy stopped to wipe his tears.
"Go on!" Paddy hurried him.
"Well… he was born with a heart damage. He had a hole in his heart, which doctors just have filled in."
"What happened after the confinement?"
"Hanna was despaired. She couldn't walk, she wasn't beautiful anymore, you didn't call, she knew you were alive from TV, and what's more… her son was suffering in the hospital's incubator and he could die every time. Can you image how did she feel?"
"No… I thought I was the only one who suffered, but I had no idea. Comparing to her pain, mine was nothing." Paddy cried out.
"That day when you showed up she got a phone from the hospital. The baby was in danger. They didn't know whether he could get by the night or not… She wanted to see you. She wanted to tell you, but we convinced her that you are irresponsible man and so on. She was very happy to see you, but she was also lost. She didn't know what she should do… She was afraid that you could hate her. So she decided to leave."
"She believed in angels." Paddy kept on "She thought she would die and be an angel, so that she will take care of us…"
"That's right! She wanted to be an angel to watch over you."
"Why didn't you tell me about the baby?"
"We thought that you wouldn't be a good father, because of the style of your life. You wouldn't take care of him. He is a special baby, not like another and he needs to be kept eyes on all the time." Hanna's father finally spoke up.
"But it was my baby! I had the right to know." 
"He was in the hospital for almost a year. We took care of him very well, when his illness came back." Tommy said "You can't blame us! My parents and I did everything we could for him."
"Was he happy?"
"Yes, he was. He love loved too."
"I can't believe it. I have a son, who is dying." Paddy cried "God, please save him!"

In the same moment the doctor came out of the room where the baby was lying.
"Will he be ok?" Tommy asked the doctor.
"Yes, he reacts correctly! I think in a few days he will be smiling again!"
"Thank you doctor!" Paddy spoke up like he just woke up from dreams "Can I see him?"
"Sure! But just a little while."

Paddy went in the room. The little boy was lying in a bed with many tubes on him. He tried to look at his face.
"He looks like Hanna, but this nose is a Kelly nose! My dear, I'm sorry I didn't know" Tears began to run in his face.
He looked at the name tag in his bed, which said "Michael Thomas Nowak". He smiled a bit.
"So she gave you my name! At least one of us use her favorite name."
Paddy slowly touched the baby's head. He was blonde like his parents. His hair were delicate.
"Miki, I'm your father and I'll be always with you. I'll never ever leave you. We have a lot to do." He said to the unconsciously baby. "Hanna, have you got the wings? If you have that means our baby is save, right? Don't worry about us, we'll be fine. I'll take care of our son."
"You are still talking to my sister?" A voice said in his back. He turned back to see Tommy standing there.
"She is somewhere in this room!"
"Listen, let my parents see the baby, ok? They love him like he was their own child. So…"
"Ok. I'm out!"
He put a kiss in the baby's forehead and left.
"Michael Thomas Kelly! Don't it sound great?" Paddy said.
"You want to change his surname?" Tommy asked.
"Yeah, he should have the surname after his old man. And when he gets well I'm taking him to Germany. He will be living with me!"
"Wait a minute! You can't do that!"
"Of course, I can. It's my son. We have much to do together!"
"I understand that you want to take him, but how about my parents? They love him. They have lost their daughter, and they won't survive if they lose Michael too."
"Look, it's my son. Not theirs. They have had enough time with him. Under no circumstances will I leave him here. He will get the best medical helps there. You can visit us anytime you want to. I won't change my mind."
"You'll break their hearts!"
"I'm sorry!"

Dear Kate,
I haven't written you since my son woke up. It's because I wanted to spend with him every little second. He is miracle… The miracle given by God. He whole is the love… He was made by love, surrounded by love and he is love too. I don't know how to describe my feelings when I hold him in my arms… When I see him smile… When he run to me to give me a wet kiss… Doctors say that he is a strong boy, however, he must to visit them often. It's really good that we have here in Cologne good hospitals.
Yesterday I brought him to a injection. At the beginning he was so scared and he had been crying from home to the hospital. I wanted to give up this injection, I seemed like I was more scared than my son… I felt the pain more than he did for sure, because when he got out from the room he smiled widely with a lollipop in his hand and he asked me when he would visit this nice doctor again. Can you believe that?
Later we went to a park. The leaves were falling. He looked at the surface of a lake, like he first saw himself or like he was looking at someone's else face. He had this particular mine.
"Who am I similar to?" he asked climbing my legs.
"You have your mother's eyes" I told him.
"Yes, they are green!"
"Yes, they are. Mine are blue. Your lips are after me. We both have big mouths. They are very good for kissing, don't you think?"
"Right!"
"And your hair are very fair. Like your mother's hair!"
"She had yellow hair too!"
"Your teeth are after your mom too!"
"She had also white and clean teeth?"
"Yes!" I laughed out.
I wanted to add that his nose was like mine, but at this point he gave me a huge hug. Michael wasn't similar to me nor Hanna, he was similar to both of us. Hanna is living in his smiles, in the color of his eyes and his teeth too.
Now he is lying in his little bed and sleep deeply. He looks so sweet while sleeping. I think you should have a baby with your husband. A baby brightens your life!
It's not so hard to raise a baby like they say.
Everyday, I cook for him special food. I care about calories in his meal. I took care about his clothes. I bath him. I have got a big bath here, and he loves playing with bubbles. He lets only me to bath him. Once my sister wanted to help me, he cried like crazy… 
Although every day seems to be the same - break fast, medicine, playing toys, lunch, medicine, having a walk, diner, medicine, reading books, sleep… everyday is different from each other. Everyday is a new day… the day full of miracles and love.
My son and I get on with each other very well. I think he is going to be a musician too. He loves listening to music. He can spend the whole day with a headphone on the ears.
Some people sympathizes me that I'm a lonely father, but if they only know I'm happy to have this little boy by my side.
I think Hanna has got her wings already. She must be very happy now up there in heaven. Finally she can rest in peace.

PK

Dear PK,

I have decided to leave my husband forever. I can't stand him anymore. He treated me like a dog. And my life is a routine. I hate that the most. Now I'm staying in a hotel till I find something.
In a few days I'll have a business trip to Cologne. I think it would be a good idea to meet. What do you think?

Kate!

P.S. Thanks for the beautiful rose. I don't even remember when I got one last time. Thanks!

"Michael, let's your daddy work!" Paddy was concentrating in the CD cover project.
"I want to watch Star Wars! Please!"
"No, you have been watching it for the whole morning already. Now play with your shining sword! Let your eyes rest!"
"But I want to watch the knight Jedi and Luke Skywalker."
"Daddy is going to make you something to eat, ok? Then we can play your cards together. Tonight you'll watch Luke Skywalker before you sleep. Deal?"
"Deal!" the little boy shook hand with his father.

"Fuu!" he murmured looking at the orange object in the end of his spoon.
"It's called carrot!, Miki. You must know what carrot is, do you? Eat! Please!"
He pushed away his plat.
"I'm not hungry!" he announced and wanted to left the table.
"Wait, you are not going anywhere if you don't eat the lunch!"
"I don't want the lunch. It's awful!"
"Please, Miki, eat your lunch!"
"No!"
"Please, sit down and eat, just a little!"
"No!"
"Do you want to go to McDonald's?"
"Yessss!" Michael's sad face turned to a happy one.
"Take your jacket then!"
When he run for his coat, Paddy took the plate and threw it to a bin. It was probably uneatable, because he cared about his son's diet and add too many vegetables to his food.
They both climbed in Paddy's car.

"Daddies don't know how to cook!" Mike said to his dad.
"It's not true!"
"But you don't know how to cook!"
"That's true. Your daddy doesn't know how to cook, but there are a lot of men who know it very well. You can see some of them in hotels, restaurants and in McDonalds too. However, normal men can cook too. Especially men who live with little boys or girls only. I'm going to cook like them. I'm going to cook good things for you, so that we don't have to go to McDonald's anymore. Is that Ok with you, honey?"
"But I like McDonalds!"
"But food here are not healthy. And you need healthy food!"
"I don't, because I'm already healthy!"
"Yes, you are my strong little man!"
Paddy didn't see any senses to argue with his son anymore, because he wouldn't win it.

Kate,
I'm sorry to hear that you are leaving your husband. But a part of me is glad because of this fact. He doesn't deserve such a woman like you.
Tell me when you are going to Cologne, so that we can meet. I really want to meet you, to see you in real life and to be able to touch you. I haven't have a date for ages J I'm looking forward to meeting you.

PK

P.S. Look at the attach. It's my self-made CD cover. And some pictures of my little boy.

"Daddy, when we are going to see grandpas?" Miki came to Paddy crept without making a noise to Paddy's side.
"You miss them, do you?"
"Yes! Very much."
"Well, now we can't visit them. They live in Poland. When I have less work I'll take you to them. Is that ok with you?"
"But you work all days. I'm boring!"
"We can go to aunt Patricia right now if you want to. You like playing with Alex, do you?"
"No, because he likes only Winnie the Pooh. He doesn't want to play with my Star Wars figures. And Winnie the Pooh is girlish. I'm a big man! I don't want to play Winnie the Pooh, because I'm a big man."
Paddy took him to his lap.
"So what do you want to do?"
"Play with me in Star Wars. I don't want to play alone!"
"Alright then! Come to your room and prepare your figures, I will turn the computer off and I will play with you."
"Ok!"
In the mean while Angelo called.
"Hey man, how are you doing?"
"Paddy, Joey made an arrangement for a concert."
"What? I thought we have already decided about it. No concerts for at least for six months."
"But you know Joey. He has a soft hear! Someone begged him and he agreed."
"I'm not going to any concert! I just can't, you all know why!"
"It's a benefit concert, for an orphan house, so that they can have gifts for Christmas. It's called 'You can be a Santa Claus too'. We will give a concert for about an half an hour."
"Where would I leave Miki? He needs to be watched 24/7"
"Take him to us. Kira would take care of him."
"No, I'm not going to any concert. I'm sorry! My son is the more important!"
"He will be OK with Kira!"
"No, I'm not going! I don't leave my son to anyone. Not that, I don't trust your wife and her raising children skills, but I want to be close to him."
"You are overprotective!"
"Perhaps!"
"You know that without you we can't make it."
"I'm sorry!"
"You say it to children who are waiting for food, clothes, toys… Ask your son if he will be proud of you if you don't help those poor children!"
Paddy gave a gaze at his son sitting in the floor with a lot of toys around!
"Ok! I'll do it! For children!"
"I thought so! You have a soft heart too."
"Yeah, yeah! And I have a stupid brother!"
"Tomorrow, Cologne Arena! 2 p.m"
"Tomorrow?"
"Yeap! Be ready!"

He hung up the phone and settle down next to his son to play with Luke Skywalker and Princess Lea.
"Miki, you like Gabriel, do you? He is your cousin."
"Yes, Gabriel is ok. I like him, but he doesn't like Star Wars!"
"Not everyone like Star Wars, like you. Everybody likes something else. You like Star Wars, Alex likes Winnie the Pooh, Gabriel likes Pokemon and Sean likes Harry Potter, but it doesn't mean that you can't play together, right?"
"Not right. I can't play with someone who doesn't like Princess Lea and the Knight Jedi."
"How about cars. I'm sure Gabriel likes that too. I saw he has some cars."
"I don't like cars. I like only my shining sword, space ships from the Star Wars!"
"Mike! You are already a big boy, right?"
"Yes!"
"Tomorrow daddy will be busy. What do you think about going to aunt Kira and Gabriel for one day?"
"No! I don't want to!" he started to cry "I want to be with you!"
"Honey, big boys don't cry!"
"Aunt Kira never lets me to play with my sword!"
"Because you can hurt Gabriel by this. How about staying with uncle Dennis and Alex?"
"No, I don't want to!"
"To Grandpa?"
"And uncle Tommy? Ok!"
"No, I told you that they are very far away. I meant Grandpa Dan."
"No, I don't want to go anywhere!"
"You want to go with me to the concert?"
"What will you do at the concert?"
"I'm be singing for children like you!"
"Ok, I can go with you!"
"It's a very loud place and cold. I think you wouldn't like it!"
"I would like it! You'll see!"
Paddy could never refuse his son anything. He knew very well that it wasn't good for his son. This little boy could always get around him somehow.

"What do you think about training our voice for tomorrow?"
"Ok!"
Paddy stood up and grabbed his guitar.
"Twinkle, twinkle little star…" he started.
"Dad! It's a childish song!"
"Uhmm, ok, do you know Old McDonald?"
"It's a childish song too! Aunt Maite said that big boy listen to Marlin Manson!"
"What?"
"If you don't know Marlin Manson, we can sing songs from South park movie! I have a cassette of them, do you want to hear?"
"Yeah, sure!" Paddy exclaimed.
Miki crawled to the CD-player and turn on the cassette he got for his aunt Maite.
"Mother fucker, mother fucker, mother fucker…!" the singer sang.
Paddy quickly reached to the player and turned it off.
"You don't like this?" Miki asked.
"Aunt Maite gave you this?"
"Yes, she got it from her boyfriend!"
"Ahh…! Miki, I don't want you to listen to this kind of music."
"But it's funny!"
"No, it's not funny! At your age boys listen to Old McDonald. When I was in your age I loved this song. And you would love it too."
"No, I don't like this song! Can I turn on the player?"
"No, no, no! I'm going to threw away this cassette. You can't listen to this!"
Paddy took out the cassette and threw to the dustbin. As he turned around he saw his son was crying.
"This time you won't win with me, Miki!" he made a serious face.
"You don't love me!"
"Of course I do. I just don't want you to listen to this music. I'm your daddy and I will always love you!"
"But you threw away my cassette!"
"Because they are not good."
"Aunt Maite said that it's the music for big boys! And Sean listens to South park too."
"Sean and aunt Maite are bigger than you. When Sean and Maite were at your age they loved Old McDonald, Georgie Porgie, believe me!"
"But I don't like Old McDonald!"
"Yes, you do! Let's sit here and sing with me."
The two of them sited opposite each other and sang Old McDonald and other 'childish' songs.
Later they had dinner and Paddy went to read book for his son to sleep.
"It's the end of the book. Tomorrow we'll buy you a new one, ok?"
"I told you to buy all the Star Wars book in the store! You never listen to me!" Miki seemed mad.
"I told you that I didn't have enough money. I didn't know that you wanted to buy everything with Star Wars in the store!"
"I like Star Wars."
"I noticed that. Now, close your eyes!"
"Daddy?"
"Yes?"
"Tell me about mom. Grandma always tells me about mom when I couldn't sleep! She is an angel, isn't she?"
Miki gazed at the picture of his mother which was standing in his bed-stand.
"Your mom is an angel. She is in heaven and she is looking at you."
"Do you think she loves me?"
"Yes, she loves you. She loves you very much! Like I do!"
"But why can't she be here with me, like you do?"
"Because… God loves her too and he needs one more angel!"
"But everyone has their mommy and daddy and I have only you."
"I'm not enough for you? We have a lot fun together, don't we?"
"Yes, but you don't know how to cook."
"I told you that I'm gonna learn to cook. Your mommy somehow loved my cooking."
"She did? She must be very brave!"
"Well, my food is not that bad." Paddy smiled at the little boy. "It's time you sleep!"
"Daddy?"
"Yes?"
"Will you take me to heaven to see mom?"
"No, I can't do this. Heaven is very very far away!"
"But daddies can do everything. Heaven is not so far. It's up there. I can see it!"
"Daddies can't do anything. For instance cooking, remember? And I can't take you to your mom, but we can pray. Do you know what is it?"
Miki shook his head.
"Well, a pray is like a wish. You can tell God your wish by praying and when he hears you he will fulfill your wish!"
"Dear God, I want to come to heaven to meet my mom!" Miki looked at the night sky.
"Not like that! Come on, get out of your bed. Knee here! Now put your hands like this" he showed him his hands chained together "And then close your eyes. And now you can tell your wish."
"Dear God, I want to meet my mom. Can you, please, take me to heaven? You can take Daddy too." Miki said and opened his eyes.
"Now say 'Amen'"
"Amen!" Miki said.
"Now jump in the bed and sleep!"
"Will I meet mom soon?"
"I don't know honey, God must think over this first. It's late, go sleep. Tomorrow is a hard day."

Before the concert.
"Maite, can I have a word with you?" Paddy called his sister after the soundcheck.
"What's up? Where is Miki?"
"He is there!" Paddy pointed to a boy playing drums. "Do you remember what did you give Miki?"
"What?"
"A cassette!"
"Ahh… yeah… It's was Bobby. He is sweet, isn't he?"
"Tell your Bobby that Miki is not gonna to listen to those stupid songs. And if you are a bit cleaver you'll drop him! How someone can listen to 'that' music?"
"Hey, hey! Slow down! It's not your business which kind of music Bobby listens to, and maybe I'm not stupid, but in love… and I think you should let Miki live too! You are overprotective. I heard you didn't want to make this concert because you don't want to lose him from your eyes."
"You know that Miki needs more attention than any child. He lost his mother at the same age as me. He spent the half his life in hospitals…"
"I know this story Paddy… I just told you my opinion. You are his father. But look at him… he has no friends except you and his Star Wars figures."
"Well, don't you teach me how to raise my son, ok? I just ask you not to give him cassettes anymore. And don't bring that your Bobby to my place."
"Ok! You can be sure, we won't put our feet at your door anymore!" Maite was really upset, so did Paddy.

"Miki, stay here with Bonnie so that I can see you from the stage, ok?" Paddy put his son down to a chair next to the stage. "Bonnie, please hold his hand. Under no circumstances, don't let him run around! I'll be watching you!"
"Paddy, don't worry! I'm not only your cloth-keeper, but also a mother. I know how to take care of a baby! Go on and don't worry!"
After the concert.
"Maite, can we have a word?" Paddy called Maite to talk again.
"I don't want to have any arguments with you." Maite said.
"Well, I just wanna thank you for your dedication before 'Every baby'. Mike is very happy now! Are you, Mike?" Paddy had the boy in his hand.
"Yes! Thank you aunt Maite!"
"You are welcome, Mikey!" Maite gave her nephew a kiss.

Life20.doc
It's almost four months since Mikey and I moved to Germany. Today he asked me again about going to his grandpas and uncle Tommy. I don't feel well thinking about the two months in Poland. The whole time I spend by his bed. Hanna's parents could hardly bare my present there. They didn't like me from the start and they don't trust that I could be a good father. They didn't give me a chance to show them that I could be a good one. Maybe I won't be the best father all over the world, but I'm the best one for my son.
I would like to take him to his grandpas, if they understood that Mike is my son, not theirs. Now he is accustomed to me and I'm afraid when he comes back there he wouldn't like to leave with me again. But the Christmas is coming. It's the time of forgiveness and time to spend with your family. Mikey deserves to be with them and they deserve to hold him again. After all, I'm very grateful that they took care of my son for so many years. No doubt, they did the best for him. Now in Cologne, he has the best doctors and best medicine in the world. His heart causes no problems since that operation and doctors say soon he will be totally healthy.
As I look at him while he is sleeping I feel so sorry for him. He lost his mother so early. I remember when I lost my mother. I was at his age and the pain was incredible. How many times I processed it over and over again.
Maybe I should give my son a new mother? If he has someone he calls 'mom' he would miss her less, and maybe with time, he won't even feel the lack of mother. But who can do this? Who can love my son like her own baby and who would let him call his 'mom'?

"Mikey, did you brush your teeth?" Paddy yelled still concentrating at his personal diary.
"Yes, daddy!"
"Make a prayer then I'll come to read you something!"
"Yes, daddy!"

A while later.
"What did you pray for today?" Paddy sat in the bank of the bed.
"Today I asked God to visit grandpas." Said Miki with his body covered by the blanket.
"Do you really want to go there?"
"Yes! I really want to!"
"But you know that daddy has a lot of work at Christmas, right?"
"I know that is why I asked God to take away from you some work, so that you can take me to grandpas."
"What do you think about one day visit, before Christmas?"
"Only one day?"
"Daddy have some performances for poor children like yesterday at Christmas!"
"At Christmas? I want to spend Christmas at grandpas!"
"At Christmas we will be here, in Germany with Grandpa Danny, auntie Patricia, auntie Maite, uncle Dennis, Angelo and so on. It will be our first Christmas together."
"Does Santa Claus know that I now live with you, so that he can bring me so gifts?"
"Yes, of course. Santa Claus knows about every child. You were a good boy, weren't you?"
"Yes, I was!"
"So don't worry! What do you want to have under your Christmas tree?"
"I want to have the new Star War figure and a new Video about Star War. And something more. Hmm… Do you think it's too much for Santa Claus?"
"No, not at all. He always have a lot gifts for good boys! What do you want more?"
"I want to go to Disneyland. I saw it on TV!"
"I'm sure the Santa Claus hears you and he will bring you anything you want."

Paddy? Are you there?

"Yes, I am! I just put Miki to his bed. He is so sweet."

"I still didn't find any accommodation yet, so I stay in my office. I just have got the divorce papers today. Now I am officially divorced."

"I don't know what to say!"

"Congratulate me! I'm now free from this selfish monster."

"How come your divorce procedure is done so fast? I heard it takes at lease half a year."

"It's because we both wanted it. My ex-husband, how sweet to say it out loud, has already someone to replace me."

"You are still coming to Cologne?"

"Yes! In a few days. Around 15th December."

"Good! I can't wait to meet you. Unfortunately I can't offer you my place because of my son, but I can find a hotel room for you."

"That sounds great!"

"Will you stay for Christmas and the New Year?"

"Yes, I have nothing to do here anyway. My ex-husband didn't let me to have any friend, so nothing keeps me here."

"It's done! You are going to spend Christmas and the New Year with us."

"I won't bother you?"

"No! My family always invite friends for Christmas. My dad have bought a fantastic new detached-house not far from the center of Cologne with a big garden. My father loves when the house is full."

"And Miki?"

"What about him?"

"Will he happy to see his father's friend?"

"As you said we are friends, so why should it bother him?"

"He might think that we are a couple. Do you think he would like it?"

"He is a good boy. I don't think he will have something against us. Jezz… we are talking like we have already a romance."

"You wouldn't like that? You don't long to touch me anymore? You used to say so sweet things we might do when we meet."

"And nothing have changed… I still imagine you holding me at cold nights. I still want to touch your hair…"

"But you stopped to say me this since…"

"Since my son's arrival?"

"Yes!"

"Don't be jealous. Since when he arrived in my life I grew up. Now I'm not just Paddy Kelly, the famous musician, but I'm a father and I'm responsible for someone's life. I try to do my best to bring him up."

"But you can't forget about yourself."

"For him? I can!"

* ring ring *
"Hallo?" Paddy picked up the phone.
"Hey Paddy, may I talk to our mouse?"
"Sure!" Paddy answered and turned to his son "It's uncle Tommy!"
Miki jumped on his feet and ran to the phone happily.
"Hi Uncle Tommy!" he said.
"Hey little mouse! How are you doing lately?"
"I'm fine! I'm playing with daddy in Star War!"
"Really?"
"Yes, and I have new figures of Hans Solo! A really big one! It's bigger than me!"
"Wow, someday you'll have to show me it."
"And I have a lot of cards too. And Santa Claus will bring me a new figure of Jedi."
"That is what you asked the Santa for?"
"Yes, daddy said he knows that I now live in Germany! And he will bring me the gift for sure. Do you think it's true?"
"Of course! Santa Clause knows everything!"
"Do you have anything new?"
"Yes, I have a computer game with Star Wars. When do you think you can come and try it?"
"Daddy said that at Christmas, but only for one day."
"Not good! Give me your daddy so I can speak to him. Maybe he will let you stay longer at ours!"
"I hope so!! Bye uncle Tommy!"
"Bye!!"
Miki gave the receiver to Paddy.
"Tommy? What's up?"
"Paddy, when are you taking the boys to us? Christmas is coming!"
"I'm planning to have one day trip at 23 December. To Poland"
"One day? It's too short. After all we are his family too and we want to have him here for at least a week. You know that my parents love him and…"
"He is my son, not theirs! I'm very grateful them for bringing him up for the past few years, but he is mine. And I don't think they have any rights after all they have done to me and to my son!" Paddy cut him out.
"I don't want to fight about it again! How about I come and take him tomorrow and he will stay with us till 23. December when you come and pick him up?"
Paddy looked at his son who was standing right next to him with a hoping look.
"I'll have to discuss it with him first. I'll call you back!" Paddy said.

"Miki?" Paddy picked him up to his lap. "Do you want to go to uncle Tommy and grandpas tomorrow?"
"Yes!! I want to!!" he yelled happily.
"Are you sure about it?"
"Yes, for how long. I'll be at theirs?"
"For 10 days. Till 23. December. I'll come there and take you back!"
"I love you daddy!" Miki suddenly threw his hands around Paddy's neck.
"And I love you!" Paddy kissed his boy. "Now call to your uncle and tell him the news!"

As Miki was talking to his uncle, Paddy looked at his enthusiasm. He even felt jealousy and fear inside. What if that boy won't want to come back to him again? On the other hand, he was happy to see his son so happy and more… he would be able to meet Kate, his online friend, without worrying about his son's and her feelings.

The next morning.
"Tommy, those are his medicine. One pill each everyday." Paddy gave some bottle of medicine to Tommy.
"I know, you have told me that thousand times already!"
"And take care of him."
"Don't worry about it. He is in good hands!"
"Call me if something happen!"
"Sure!!"
Paddy said saw off his son and then went back to his computer.

Dear Kate!

My son has just left with his uncle to Poland a minute ago and I already fill lonely and empty.
I always knew that this boy is the spirit of this house and of my life, but I couldn't imagine how sad is the house without him and his Star War speaks. Now I can see what was my life before his appearance… full of loneliness, empty and lack of love.
Miracle does happen! People don't notice it by their daily works, but life is the biggest miracle. And love is right next to it. I have experienced the love to my parents, to my siblings, to a woman and to a child. The last one is the most beautiful one. Being a parent is surely the greatest gift of the life. Now I know why my parents have so many children J
As I saw off my son a while ago, he gave me a great huge and a big kiss that made me almost cry.
Sorry for telling you all this. I guess you don't understand it at all because you are not a mother yet. However, I feel better when I can tell someone about it. I know I'm a big ego, but I can't help it! J
I count every day to our meeting… Only 2 days more! Tell me which platform you'll be at, so that I can pick you there. Then we can go to my place, before we find you something.
I'll have a red rose, so that you can recognize me easier. I'll have to wear a long coat and sunglasses to hide from fans. This day I'll be an invisible man for all others, but you.

With love
PM

2 days later.

"Are you PM?" a girl approached to him as he was standing in the platform with a red rose in his hand.
"You must be Flutterby!" he smiled and peeked her cheeks. "This is for you!" he handled her the rose.
"Thanks!" she said. "Nice to meet you!"
"Nice to meet you too!"

Paddy took her luggage and leaded her to his car. He drove to his apartment.

"Wow, it's big!" she came in shyly.
"Come on! Make yourself home!" Paddy said taking off her jacket.
"So this is the device of our chats?" she pointed to a computer in Paddy's sitting room.
"Yeah! Meet my laptop!" Paddy smiled. "Would you like to have a tea or coffee?"
"Tea, please!"

"So… what made you decide to leave your husband?" Paddy looked at her eyes as they were sitting opposite each other in Paddy's 2 sofas.
"Well, when we got married I weren't in love, actually. It was my head that decided to merry him. I wanted to settle down and give my parents some grandchild. Derek, my husband, was at this time was an accountant. After a few months of our marriage he got promotion and since that something went wrong between us. And then I got a job in the position of accountant to a big firm. Derek hated that. We had a few big fights when I started working. Our relationship was looser and looser everyday. We meet only in evenings. But we were usually to tired to go out or even to talk with each other. When I got to know you, I noticed that my life is not complete and it was actually boring. I wanted to look for the sense of life like you did. I feel like I would at lease once fall in love, not matter how much pain it could bring…" she made a break and looked at Paddy "Sorry to mention it!" she said.
"It's ok! It doesn't hurt me anymore. On the contrary, I feel proud that I had her in my life and the fruit of this love is my son!"
"Talking about your son! When will he come back?"
"In three days I'll come to Poland to take him home. Now he is at his grandpas. We talk everyday."
"From your emails I know that he is everything for you. I really admire your strength! I don't know any men like you."
"Well, it's him who gives me strength to go on, so actually we must say that he is a good son!" he laughed. "In the New Year I'll have to take up a cook course, because my cooking is terrible. He keeps on complaining about my food."
"You look better than on TV and all pictures you sent me!" she suddenly changed the subject.
"So do you!" he looked at her eyes. "Hmm… I was just about to ask you if you want to stay here at least until my boy come back! Errr… I don't mean…"
"It's ok! I will! It's a lovely place and I think it needs a woman hands!" Kate looked around to the mess.
"Err… Yeah… sorry for the mess. I was a little busy lately. Concerts for children. Ya know!"
"You can stay in my room, I'll sleep here!"
"I don't want to bother you. I can sleep here!"
"No, you are my guest! You take the bed!" he insisted "but now, dress up and let's go out for a dinner. I know a really good Italian restaurant. You still like Italian food, do you?"
"Yeah!"

They had a dinner together and then went back to Paddy's. As they were together Paddy felt different. Something made him keep on thinking about her. Every time he looked at her lips he felt like kissing her. Many times before the meeting he imagined to kiss her, but this desire had grown when they were together.

"Your bed is big!" she said as she went out of the bathroom only in Paddy's dressing-grown.
"I hope you feel comfortable!" he was embraced.
'Wow, she is beautiful' he thought steering at her.

She come to him slowly. She put her hand in his shoulder and then lifted her hand to his hair. Her lips were only a few millimeters away from his. He couldn't stop himself from kissing her anymore. He wanted to do it from the beginning. Now it was his chance. He approached his lips to touch her and delicately kissed her. And she kissed him back with a hunger.
"We can't!" he made a break.
"I love you Paddy! I want you. I have been waiting for so long to be in your hands…" she said kissing him.
"So do I!" he murmured and picked her up.
He slowly put her in his bed not sop kissing her.
"I love you Kate!"
"I love you Paddy!"

The dawn woke them both up.
"How good it is to wake up in your arms!" she whispered. "I would like it to last forever!" 
"Me too…" he kissed her forehead.
"I really love you Paddy! I know it's crazy, but I know that for sure. I love you."
"But we have been knowing each other only for a few hours. How can you be so sure?"
"We know each other very well Paddy. You know me more than any men in this world. And I know you as well as you know me… We are not strangers. I don't know what we are actually. I know you are scare, so I'm not going to pressure you. I just want you to know that I love you and last night was the best night of my life."
"You are right! I'm scare. It's something brand new for me. None woman before said she loved me first. And moreover, I have never acted like yesterday… And the way we know each other… It's weird."
"I also don't sleep with a man in the first date, but yesterday I just couldn't stop myself. The temptation was too great."
"It's the same about me." He murmured.
"So what we are going to do with it?"
"I don't know. Just give me a little time to think over it, ok?"
"Sure! I can wait! But, please, don't push me away. I wouldn't handle it!"
"Of course not! I don't do the same mistake!" he said and kissed her passionately.

For two days they spend time together by going shopping, having romantic dinners in restaurants…
Those two days made him feel like in heaven. He missed this feeling of having a woman by his side. He fell on her more and more. He wanted days to be longer so that he can just be with her.
It was 22nd night. Paddy lied next to her. He couldn't sleep, because in the morning he was going to Poland to pick up his son. He wondered how Miki would react to the fact that a woman lived in his house. He would ask Kate to leave, but something stopped him.

"Am I doing right? I don't want to make her to have a fake hope." He asked himself looking at the sleeping girl in the other side of the bed. "I don't wanna hurt anyone…"
"Paddy!" a voice said.
He looked around to see a bright light in the corner.
"Hanna?" he closed his eyes and opened it again to make sure it wasn't his imagination.
"Paddy, don't afraid to love!" she said.
"Hanna! I…" he opened his mouth and got out of the bed. He stood before her. He reached his hand for her, but he couldn't touch her, since they were so close.
"Paddy, I'm very proud of you that you have saved our son and you are a really good father. I have been watching you all the time and now I'm his guardian angel… It's all thank to you my hero!"
"I think you for this boy! He gave me the will to live. Thank you, honey!"
"As I said, you are a great father, but Mickey needs a mother too!" she said.
"But… I don't know if I love her. And Miki, how… he loves you so much."
"Paddy, you have opened your heart to me and to Mickey. And you have opened your heart to her. You just need to look carefully at your heart and you'll see that my place in it has been replaced… It's your chance to be happy! Fulfill the Christmas wish of our little boy!"
Then the figure disappeared.
"What do you mean? Hanna, come back, please! Answer me!"
Nothing answered him. Paddy came back to his bed, but still couldn't fall asleep.

"Do you have everything?" Kate asked as Paddy jumped in his car ready to drive to Poland.
"Yeah, all gifts are in. See you tonight!" he gave her a kiss in her lips.
"Have a nice journey. Be careful!"

In Poland.
"Hey boy!" he got in Hanna's family house.
Mickey run to him and gave him a huge hug.
"Daddy!"
"I hope you were a good boy!"
"Yes, I am! I missed you daddy!"
"I missed you too!"

Later that day they went to Hanna's grave.
"Hi darling! It's our boy!" he said "Miki, this is your mother's grave. She loved you very much, and now she is your guardian angel."
"What do guardian angels do Daddy?" Miki asked.
"They chase away all bed things from you."
"But grandmother said that mommy is in heaven and she will never come back."
"She is always by your side. Thought you don't see her, she is right here and she will always be in your little heart! You love her, do you?"
"Yes, I do! And I love you daddy!"
"You are a really lovely boy!" Paddy hissed his son's forehead.
Then Paddy lighted a candle in the stone with her name.
"Thank you!"

After that thy went to Paddy's car and drove back to Germany.
"Daddy, do you think that the Santa Claus will bring me all the gifts that I wanted?"
"Yes, I bet he will bring all that you asked for. Even more, because you are such a good boy."
"It's good!" Miki murmured and turned to his Star War toys.
"Miki, I have to tell you something!"
Miki looked at him questionably.
"A friend of mine just came to Germany a few days ago. I asked her to stay at our place for Christmas. What do you think about it?"
"Is she nice?"
"Yes, she is very nice!"
"And pretty?"
"Uhm… yes!"
"Does she cook well?"
"She does!"
"It's ok!"
"It's ok? Just that?"
"It's good that someone will cook for us."
"And you don't have anything against it?"
"No, it was one of my wish!"
"Excuse me?"
"I wanted to have a mom! The Santa must like me a little."
"You wanted what?" Paddy asked looking at his son unbelievably.
"To have a new mom! Grandpa said that my mommy Hanna won't come back and I can only have a new mommy."
"What more did grandpas tell you?"
"That if I really wanted to have a mommy I must ask the Santa Claus!"
"Hmm… Well… Kate won't be your new mommy, but you can make friends with her!"
"Why can't she be?"
"It's complicated!"

Back in Cologne, Paddy's flat.
"Hello young man!" Kate came to greet them. "What is your name?"
"I'm Miki!" he answered politely.
"So Miki, you must be very hungry!"
"Yes, I am starving!"
"Do you like spaghetti?"
"Yes, I do!!" he sad cheerily.
"Miki, first wash your hands!" Paddy turned to his son.
Miki run to the bathroom to wash his hand. In the meanwhile Paddy and Kate kissed each other passionately.

"I'm done! Can I eat now?" Miki surprised them.
"Hmm... sure! Let's have the dinner!" Kate said.
Together they went to the dinning room.
"It's good!" Miki smiled with a full mouth.
"How many times I told you not to speak with full mouth?"
"Sorry!" said Miki and turned to his plate with a big smile.

Later that night.
"Paddy, I have booked a room in the Hyatt Hotel. It's getting late so I'm leaving now." Kate said to Paddy.
"What? Why didn't you tell me?"
"I don't want to bother you! It was the deal. I leave when your son come back!" she said to Paddy, then she turned to Mickey who was sitting in the floor playing his friends - Star Wars figures. "The power with you!" 
"Kate, stay with us. At least you like Star War, not like daddy!"
"Yeah, stay with us! Mickey loves you."
"I'm not leaving forever, but only to the other end of the street." She said.
"Stay here! Please! I want Miki to know you better!"
"If you insist!" she said.
"Great!"

In the next morning when Paddy opened his eyes, he was all alone in the bed. He went out of his room o see Kate and Miki were unpacking gifts under the Christmas Tree. He looked at them for a while in silence. They both were laughing from ear to ear. At this point he knew what he needed to do next. He couldn't let her to disappear from his life. Now, he admitted to himself that he loved her. And since he saw that his only son get on well with her he was in seventh heaven. He approached to the two and give both of them morning kisses.

This night all three of them went together to Dan's Kelly house like the rest of the family.
"Paddy, you came finally. We are waiting for only you. And who is that?" Angelo came to greet Paddy.
"Hi uncle Angelo! Look what I have got! It's Luke Skywalker."
"I see! It's nice!"
"And who is that beautiful woman?"
"Brother, you are not allowed to look at other woman than your wife!"
"Gee, just asking!"
"It's Kate! My fiancé."
"Who?" Kate asked.
Paddy didn't answered, but smiled. They took their place round the table with Irish traditional Christmas food.
"Family! I want to introduce you someone! I hope soon she will be an official member of our family. This is Kate, my a to-be fiancé." Paddy said to them all. "Kate, it's a special day to the whole world and I want it to be a special day for us too. Will you marry me?" Paddy took out from his pocket a red box with a diamond ring inside.
Kate said nothing. She was taken aback.
"We know each other a year by the net, and as we meet a few days ago I know I can't let you go. I love you. Would you make me a honor to be your husband?" Paddy continued.
"Yes!" she said as tears began to run down her cheeks.
And then they kissed each other, with the whole Kelly Family as the witnesses.
"Miki, the Santa Claus has brought you a mommy!" he turned to Mickey.
"Kate, you will be my mom?"
"Do you want me to be?"
"Yes, of course! I like you very much."
"Then, I'll be your mom!"
"Hurrah, I'll have a mommy!"
In that point Paddy put the ring to Kate's finger. And they kissed again.
"Merry Christmas, every one!" Papa Dan said bringing up his glass of wine. "For all my children and grandchildren! For the Kelly Klan. May God bless us with many new family members. "

--- THE END ---