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Fan
Fiction |
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Title:
Cupid's arrow
Author: Trang
Genre: Humour
Chapters: 4
Words: 12486
Started: 19. July 2001
Finished: 25. July 2001
~PART 3~
[Part
1]
[Part
2]
[Part
4]
"HEY...
LOOK AT ME! AREN'T I TO DIE FOR?" Joey flew towards Paddy
and the arrow that was a split inch from Paddy's head bounced
off of the silver reflective toaster Joey had in his hand.
The arrow flung up into the mid-air and twirled around.
Angelo approached the end of the staircase and walked towards
the kitchen, where Joey was asking everyone if he was hot or
not. Angelo shook his head embarrassingly and didn't watch
where he was going and tripped over one of the many mirrors of
Joey. He tumbled onto the floor.
"Joey!" Angelo yelled with anger.
The arrow fell from the air and pinned itself on to his...
yup... his ass. He growled in pain and slowly got up to his
knees. There, he saw the one and only, the cute and
adorable... Finborr, son's of Finbarr.
Angelo rubbed his eyes in disbelief. He opened his eyes once
again to see if he was dreaming, but sure enough, he wasn't.
Sitting in front of him was the little pug, head tilted
slightly to the side and tongue hanging from his mouth.
"Awwwwwww... come here, cutie pie" Angelo cooed as
he slowly crept towards the confused dog. Finborr whimpered as
Angelo picked him up and cradled him in his arms like a baby.
"You referring to me?" Joey piped in, not tearing
his eyes away from his own reflection.
"No, you're not a cutie, or a pie" Angelo informed
him, snuggling Finborr closely. "Isn't he, snookems-poo?"
"Yes I am. I'm cute! I'm a SEXY BITCH!" Joey
declared proudly.
Finborr whimpered again, uncomfortable with the sudden
increase of attention from Angelo.
Paddy stared at Angelo strangely. "Is it just me, or is
EVERYONE beginning to act funny?" he questioned,
scratching the back of his head in confusion.
"No man, it's just you" Jimmy said as he stormed
into the kitchen suddenly and flopped down onto a chair and
buried his face in his hands.
"Aren't you a sweetie? Yes you are, pumpkin..."
Angelo cooed softly, kissing Finborr on the top of his head.
"You're so cute, I could just eat you up" he
continued, beaming in delight. He squeezed Finborr in a tight
hug, like baby holding a precious stuffed animal.
Jimmy sighed and stood back up. "Angelo, get away from
that damn dog. You'll spoil it" he ordered.
"It's not a DAMN dog, Jimmy" Angelo informed him
coldly as he turned away from his older brother. "He's
just like one of us."
"My god, Angelo. He's a freakin' animal!"
Angelo's eyes widened in surprise as he covered the pug's
ears. "Shhhhh... don't tell him! Finborr thinks he's
human!" He held the dog close to him again as he kissed
Finborr softly. "Don't listen to Jimmy, honey bunch...
he's just a big asshole" he said as he stuck his tongue
out at his brother.
Jimmy's anger rose as he stormed towards Angelo and he grabbed
the tiny pug away from him. But being as stubborn as he was,
Angelo refused to let go.
"No, he's mine. Get your own one" he snarled,
pulling Finborr back.
"Leeeeeet gooooooo!" Jimmy screamed back, still
gripped tightly on the dog.
"NEVER!" Angelo growled, refusing to budge.
The poor dog felt like a tug-of-war rope as he whimpered
helplessly. The two of them continued to pull on Finborr,
screaming and shouting.
"I am older than you, therefore what I say, goes!"
Jimmy ordered, glaring evilly at his younger brother.
"I am younger than you, therefore I am superior than
you!" Angelo snapped back, returning the glare.
"I'm more handsomer than you!" Jimmy argued.
"I'm a better singer!" Angelo shot back.
"Are not!" he spat.
Angelo shot an evil look at him. "ARE TOO!"
"ARE NOT!"
"TOO!"
"NOT!"
"TOO!"
"NOTNOTNOT!"
"TOOTOOTOO times a million!"
"NOTNOTNOT times fifty million trillion
godpillerianzilliongerbillion!"
"...That's not even a word!"
"IS TOO!"
Angelo hesitated slightly. "... What were we arguing
about again?" he asked.
Joey rolled his eyes in disbelief as he watched the two grown
men fight like children. Completely embarrassed to even know
them, he barged in the middle of he fight and snatched the
poor dog away. "Leave my dog alone" he said
emotionlessly, cradling a shivering and afraid Finborr in his
arm.
"Oh, so you wanna piece of me?" Angelo threatened.
"Yeah, but I'll let you go this time. It would ruin my
flawless hair if I beat you down" Joey said smugly, his
nose turned upward in confidence.
"You are sooooooo off the island" Jimmy informed.
"You're sooo far away that the island is just a little
dot to you!" Angelo piped in, raising his hands in
frustration.
Joey stared at Angelo strangely. "... What island??"
he questioned, confused.
Angelo growled as he lunged at Joey, pinning him to the floor.
"Get his hair! Mess up his hair!" Jimmy screamed as
he joined in and started pulling at Joey's perfect do. Finborr
managed to squirm out of Joey's grasp and galloped quickly
away from the fight, yelping in fear.
"Sugar plum, come back!" Angelo whined as he escaped
the fight and chased after the dog.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" Joey screamed, struggling to
fend off his attacker. "MY HAIR! MY PERFECT, BEAUTIFUL
HAIR!"
"Not so sexy now, aren't we?" Jimmy yelled over
Joey's desperate screaming.
"GUYS, STOP!!!!!!!!" Paddy shouted over all the
yelling and hair-pulling. Unfortunately, they didn't hear his
plea, and continued the fight.
"Look, its Britney Spears!!" Paddy screamed again.
Jimmy and Joey immediately froze in their positions. Joey was
on the floor, grabbing a fist full of Jimmy's hair while Jimmy
had his hands wrapped around Joey's neck tightly, strangling
him. Joey was desperately gasping for air, and had one hand
tightly gripped on Jimmy's wrist, trying desperately to pry
Jimmy's hand away from his neck. His foot was pushing against
Jimmy's face, struggling to force him away.
It took all of Paddy's strength to pry Jimmy's hands off
Joey's neck. Angelo walked back into the room with Finborr
cradled protectively in his arms, just as Paddy managed to
restrain Jimmy from attacking Joey again.
"What the hell is wrong with you people!? Am I the only
sane one here?" Paddy scolded the boys. "Joey, all
of a sudden, you're obsessed with yourself. No, you're NOT a
sexy bitch! Angelo, why are you giving so much attention to
Finborr? You used to call him a rat and threaten to eat him!
And Jimmy... you've always been weird, so I've got nothing to
say to you!" Paddy exclaimed.
"Shhhh!! You're scaring my precious berry fairy!"
Angelo hushed. Finborr whimpered.
"... Berry fairy?" Joey asked, making a face.
"Honey cakes, pooh bear, sugar-pie, bum-de-bumpkins,
cream puff..." Angelo sang happily, snuggling close to
the dog.
"... Angelo... you're scaring me..." Jimmy said,
backing away slowly from his younger brother.
Before Angelo could snap back at him, Ann came storming down
the stairs in fury. He knew just what to do as he headed
towards Angelo to give him a piece of his mind.
"Angelo, before you can protest, I want you tell you
something" he said sternly, crossing his arms across his
chest.
"I just want you to know that I love Kira more than I
have ever loved someone. I know that you and her have been
dating for the longest time, but my opinion is that she's too
good for you. You won't treat her the way she deserves. I
don't care what you think of me, but I just want you to know
that I won't go down without a fight" she announced, her
voice emotionless.
Paddy raised an eyebrow in disbelief. He had never seen Ann
so... determined to get something... to get Kira, of all
things.
Jimmy beamed in pride.
Angelo stared at Ann strangely. A few minutes of silence
passed by before he quietly answered "...but I don't want
Kira anymore."
It took a few moments before the phrase completely sank into
Ann's head. "You... don't... want her?" she repeated
again, just a make sure.
"Nope" he simply replied, smirking. "I love
Finborr! I mean, why have some weird chick when you can have a
puppy that's loveable, huggable, adorable, sweet, cute, fuzzy,
wuzzy, fluffy..." Angelo ranted on as he pranced away
with a confused Finborr still held in his arms tightly.
Ann hesitated. "... That went rather well" he said
to himself as he walked towards the exit, but was stopped
briefly by Jimmy.
"Where are you going?" he asked casually, hoping not
to sound too intruding.
"Kira's. I need to find her" Ann replied quickly,
heading towards the door. But once again, she was interrupted,
this time with the loud click and the cold metal clasping
against her left wrist. She turned around to find her wrist
handcuffed by Paddy.
"Oh no, you're not going anywhere until I figure out what
EXACTLY is going on here" Paddy ordered as he pulled Ann
across the room, laced the handcuff across the stair rail and
grabbed Jimmy with his other hand. He clasped the handcuff on
Jimmy's wrist, and stepped back. "There" he said as
he crossed his arms strictly across her chest.
"WHAT?! You can't do this!!" Ann protested.
Jimmy blushed a deep shade of red. Handcuffed with Ann... what
more could she want?
"Too bad" Paddy said as he sighed. "I can't let
you leave the house, and contaminate the rest of the world
with this strange virus."
"...Virus?!" Ann and Jimmy asked in unison.
Paddy nodded sadly. "The love bug. Ann is in love with
Kira, but before today you couldn't stand being in the same
room as her. Angelo is in love with Finborr, and yet, he used
to kick the dog whenever he had the chance. Joey is in love
with himself, and Jimmy... I don't know who you're in love
with yet. But I'm sure I'd find out soon" he explained.
Jimmy's cheeks turned scarlet red again.
Jessica sighed, still watching from a distance. At least one
of them was smart, and decided to keep everyone in one place
before something worse happens. She shook her head in shame as
she turned and walked away, unaware of the rubber ball that
lay just beneath her feet.
She screamed as her foot slipped on the rubber ball, and threw
her completely off balance. Her backpack flung into the air,
all the artillery inside spilling everywhere. Jessica landed
onto the floor with a loud crash, followed by the tumbling of
most her arrows and potions.
Except for one stray love potion, that was flung high into the
air. Jessica groaned as she opened her eyes to see the love
potion contained in a small glass vial, fall in slow motion
towards the floor.
"Noooooooooooooooo..." she gasped as she squeezed
her eyes shut. She couldn't bear to watch David's precious
potion smash into a million pieces. She winced as she heard
the deafening sound of glass shattering before her, followed
by a... bark??
Jessica opened her eyes and spotted a pouting tiny pug,
slightly confused, but panting happily. He wagged his stubby
tail joyfully as he inspected the spilled contents of the
vial.
"Nonono, go away! Don't touch that!" Jessica warned,
but it was too late. The tiny pug leaned over and lapped up
the pink liquid thirstily. He looked up, and hiccupped, drunk
from the love potion.
"Finborr! Come here!" a voice shouted. Finborr
turned around to see who called him, and hearts filled his
sight immediately. His eyes lit up in joy, and he yelped
happily as he ran towards the living room.
Jessica scrambled to her feet to follow the dog, and gasped
again when she saw Finborr, who was rubbing his head against
Paddy's leg affectionately.
WHAT HAVE I DONE? Jessica clasped her hand over her eyes. She
peeked through a few of her fingers to see what kind of mess
she made this time. Not seeing what she liked, Jessica stomped
a foot on the ground stubbornly as she dug into her backpack
to find something, anything useful. Unfortunately, there
wasn't any. Finally deciding to go back to David's place to
explore his incredibly huge amount of love potions and crap,
she turned around and stormed off, leaving the Kellys to deal
with their love triangles (or pentagons) alone.
Finborr comfortably used Paddy's leg as a scratch post. He
first sniffed it a little before he continuously rubbed his
body against it. Paddy looked down at the dog and a disgusted
expression was built onto his face.
"What the hell is wrong with you? Get off of my
leg!" Paddy tried to kick Finborr away but it tightened
its paws and clutched onto his leg.
"What are you doing to my baby, Pad? Are you crazy?
You're going to scare him away!" Angelo whined as he
tried to pull Finborr away from Paddy's leg, but he wouldn't
budge.
"If that's gonna get the stupid dog away from me then so
be it! Angelo... what the hell is wrong with you? You hated
the freaking dog! Oh please, don't be humping my leg!"
Paddy begged, trying to balance himself and kick the dog away
from him at the same time.
"Don't kick my honey buns!" Angelo yelped,
attempting to pull the dog away.
"DAMN, I'M FINE! EVEN MY EARS ARE BEAUTIFUL!" Joey
randomly announced.
"SHUT UP!" Angelo and Paddy bellowed in unison.
"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful." Joey spoke in
a snotty tone, wrapped his boa around his neck and fled up the
stairs.
"DON'T KICK MY DOG!" Angelo yelled, about to
breakdown into tears.
Paddy gave a last yet swift kick and the dog was flew in the
air and landed in the pots and pans.
"YOU KICKED MY DOG, YOU BASTARD! I'M GOING TO KILL
YOU!" Angelo blabbed on.
"Oh so you're going to kill me?" Paddy stood up and
cracked his knuckles.
"No no... I'm just joshing! Get it? Joshing? Ha haw...
" Angelo tried to laugh his way out of the situation,
which very much resembled a goat's laugh.
Angelo ran over to the kitchen and scrambled for his adorable
little fellow.
"Here sweetie. Where are you? Are you alright? Aw...
don't be scared my baby. Daddy's going to make it all better.
Yes he is, sweetie pie!" Angelo found Finborr shivering
under the Chinese Wok and cuddled him in his arms.
"I swear, I've heard Angelo say this to Kira before. I
swear I have." Joey muttered to Paddy as he came down the
stairs.
"Joey! Are you all better?" Paddy got up to his feet
and rushed to his side.
"All better from what?" Joey asked with confusion.
"From you're "I'm sexy" stage. You spent hours
talking about yourself." Paddy asked, hoping Joey has
resume back to normal.
"Oh... I'm still sexy and I know it. I told myself to
take a minute off from talking about myself and talking to you
mindless and ugly people" Joey smirked. Suddenly, the
timer on his stopwatch beeped. He continued "Oops... I
better talk about myself again. Time's up!"
Paddy sighed in desperation. He longed for everything to go
back to normal, or at least one of the member of his family to
be normal. Then it'd be two heads instead of one. He ran
upstairs to find his telephone book to see who he could call
for help.
Back up in Heaven, in David's humble adobe, Jessica was
throwing random objects around, desperately finding a cure for
the poison from an arrow. After turning his home inside out
with no success, she sighed and flopped down on the fluffy
couch nearby.
A sharp pain on her butt caused her to shoot back up. Mumbling
a mild curse under her breath, she turned around and rubbed
her behind. Observing the object that she sat on, she dropped
her jaw when she realized that it was a jar of fairy dust.
A light bulb suddenly lit above Jessica's head. "THAT'S
IT! FAIRY DUST RETURNS PEOPLE TO NORMAL!!" She quickly
grabbed the bottle of pink fluffy dust, unaware that the cap
wasn't screwed on tightly. As she picked it up hastily, half
of the jar spilt down onto the floor. She let out an
ear-piercing scream as she watched the pink substance dissolve
away.
~PART
4~
