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Fan Fiction

Title: Without you there is no love
Author: Barbie & Trang
Genre: Romance/Drama
Chapters: 2
Started: 01. November 2001
Last updated: 05. January 2002

Barbie - Red
Trang - Blue

Paddy liked her immediately. She was in her mid-thirties and had dark hair. She was really tall and seemed genuinely nice, which is always a good sign.

Betty sat down in a chair and crossed her legs. Dr. Jacobs sat in a matching chair and put a file in her lap.
"Ok, Betty. All we're going to do today is just talk and get to know each other a little bit better, ok? After we talk for a while then we'll decide how often we should see each other, ok? Does that sound alright?"
"Sure!" she said uncomfortably. Dr. Jacobs smiled. She knew that this first session, as most first sessions are, would be useless. Betty wouldn't open up to her today. It would take time for them to develop a relationship and trust.
"So, how old are you Betty?"
"21... almost 22. My birthday's next month."
"Any plans for it yet?"
"Um, no. It depends on whether not Paddy will be able to come in for it."
"Doesn't he live here?"
"No madam…"
Dr. Jacobs laughed and interrupted her.
"Please don't call me madam! I'm only 33."
"Sorry!" Betty smiled. "Paddy's in a music group, so he's on the road a lot."
"Oh, what's the group?"
"The Kelly Family. You know, they sing 'I can't help myself,' 'Fell in love with an alien' and bunch of other stuff."
"Yeah. I wouldn't know that he was just from meeting him, but yeah. Wow. A celebrity in my waiting room. He seems very down to earth."
"Yeah, he is. That's one of the reasons why I keep him around."
"So, Betty, are you in school?"
"No. I graduated early. I have a degree in management."
"That's great. Where do you work?"
"Right now I'm an assistant manager at the MAS in the Plaza Mall, but I'm supposed to be getting my own store in a few months."
"Wonderful. Do you like fashion and stuff like that?"
"I love it. When I was little I wanted to be a fashion designer and then I figured it out that I couldn't draw, so that dream kind of went downhill."
They laughed.

Betty really liked Dr. Jacobs. They continued to talk about her life and stuff, but nothing ever came up about food or bulimia or anything like that. Dr. Jacobs looked at her watch.
"Well, I guess this is the part where we decided how often we're going to meet. Betty, from talking with you I think we'll start off three times a week for 45 minutes and see how it goes from there. We might have to increase the time, but we're just going to play it by ear for now, ok?"
"Ok. Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure. Shoot."
"Why didn't you ask me anything about bulimia?"
"Well, a lot a reasons, but the main one was, I wanted to get to know you first, not your disease."
"Ok."
"Ok. I'm glad to see that you're not afraid to ask questions. Don't lose that, ok? We're going to be doing a lot of that. Now, I'll see you on Friday, ok?"
"Ok. Bye."

Dr. Jacobs walked her out and then went back into her office. She had a funny feeling about Betty. Betty seemed like she would need a lot of help to beat this and she wasn't sure if she would be the one who would be able to help her.

They got in his car and sat in silence during the drive to Dr. Jacob's office. This was her third session and it had been seven days since she had last purged. She was in a fowl mood and had been really nasty toward Paddy the past couple of days. He knew that the things she said to him weren't really her talking, but her words still stung in his ears. They reached the office a few minutes later and she got out of the car quickly.
"Don't bother coming in with me!" she said.
He sat there in disbelief. He certainly wasn't going to sit in the car for 45 minutes. He shook his head; yes he was going to do whatever she told him to do. He pulled out his note and made a note to himself that he needed to make an appointment to talk to Dr. Jacobs himself. He didn't understand what was going on and he desperately wanted to.

She signed in and sat down to wait. Damn doctor was always running late. She ran her hands through her hair.
"You need to chill, Betty." she thought to herself. She thought about her last two sessions with Dr. Jacobs. During the first one that had just gotten to know one another and at the last one, they just talked about bulimia itself. A conversation had not shifted to the topic of Betty's bulimia and she was starting to think that it never would. Betty felt that she really needed to talk about it soon because it was starting to get too hard; she felt like she was about to loose the battle and that was something that she did not want to happen.

"Betty?" the receptionist called out.
"Yeah?" She looked up and smiled.
"Dr. Jacobs is ready for you now."
"Thanks Susie." She stood up and walked on back.

"Betty! How are you?" Dr. Jacobs asked as she walked in.
"Well, honestly, not so great." She took a seat on the oversized couch and pulled her legs up under her.
"Really? Well, what's wrong?" Dr. Jacobs didn't seem alarmed.
"I can't do this! It's too hard." Tears began to roll down her cheeks. Dr. Jacobs handed her the tissues.
"Good. This is where the really therapy starts. Today we are going to start figuring out why you throw up everything you eat, Betty. I know that this may seem uncomfortable and that you might not want to do it, but Betty, it's crucial that you be completely honest with me and that you answer all my questions. Ok?"
Betty looked at her and then wiped her eyes.
"Yeah, ok."
"Great. When was the first time you ever voluntarily threw up?"
"Oh, gosh... let me think." She sat in silence for a minute and then said " Almost two years ago."
"How do you remember?"
"Well, Paddy and I have been dating for almost two years. One night he called me and asked me to go on a date. He wouldn't be back in town for about a week or so and that night I started realizing who I was going on a date with and how nasty I looked. I was so fat back then. I decided that I needed to lose weight and I needed to do it quick. I tried not eating for a couple of days, but it didn't work. I caved in and I ate almost an entire gallon of ice cream. I felt like such a lard that I threw it up and that's when it started…" she spoke slowly, as if she was concentrating on each word.
"Did you naturally know what to do?" Dr. Jacobs asked after making a few notes. Betty wondered what they said.
"Well, yeah I guess. I was still in school and some of the girls in my sorority did it and I had talked to them before and they basically told me how to do it."
"How did you feel after that first time?"
"I don't know... I mean, it hurt, but it felt good. I had this power over myself. That ice cream tasted so good and it was so bad for me, but I realized that I could take the good parts of food and still have that, and then get rid of the bad parts. I felt like for once, I was in control of something."
"But Betty, didn't you think about the fact that you might actually be giving up the control you had over your body?" Dr. Jacobs asked.
"No." She felt the tears well up in her eyes again. She didn't want to talk about this anymore. She glanced at her watch. She only had 15 minutes left.
"Betty!" Dr. Jacobs began again " Paddy obviously liked you since he asked you out. What do you think he liked about you?"
She looked at Dr. Jacobs like she was insane.
"What does he have to do with anything?"
"Can you just answer the question please?"
"Well..." she paused. What did Paddy like about her? "Well, when he met me I was being crazy. I guess he thought I would be a lot of fun to hang out with."
"You were being crazy?"
"Yeah, my sorority was going on a hayride and he knew one of my sisters, and she brought him and well, I was just in a great mood and was acting stupid. I ended up spending most of the night talking and goofing off with him instead of my date."
"Oh, alright. What sorority were you in?" Dr. Jacobs asked, smiling.
"Pi Delta Kappa."
"Are you serious?" Dr. Jacobs asked.
"Yeah." Why wouldn't she be?
"That was my sorority! What do you know. Small world!"
Betty nodded. Dr. Jacobs frowned. They were making some progress, but not where she wanted them to be. She glanced at her watch. Only about 6 minutes left.
"Well, Betty. I'll let you out a little early, ok?"
Betty nodded again.
"Betty, I also think that we might need to see each other four days a week for an hour. What do you think?"
"Do you really think that's necessary?" Betty scowled.
"Why don't you think about it and talk it over with Paddy and let me know next time ok? If you think that it would beneficial, I really think it would, then we'll start doing it the session after next, ok?"
She nodded again and silently got up and walked out of the office.
"'Bye Betty!" Susie cheerfully called to her. Betty ignored her.

She walked out of the office and walked to Paddy's car. She got in and layed her head back against the seat. Her eyes were closed. Paddy sat and watched her. She looked so fragile, so frail. He wished more than anything in the world that he could help her. He would give up his fame, his success, his career, his friends, his family for her and her alone. He wanted to take away her pain and make her all better. He wanted her healthy and happy again. He wanted all these things for her, but he couldn't do a thing. He was helpless.
He started up the car and drove home.

When they got back from the session, they walked again in silence up to her apartment.
"Honey, are you feeling ok?" he asked.
She glared at him and she saw him cringe. Her heart melted a little and she pulled on his arm. He looked down at her.
"Come here." She said.
He walked over toward her and closed the space in between them. She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his lips gently. He hungrily responded; it had felt like ages and eons since she had touched him, let alone kissed him.
"Paddy, I'm sorry. I've been really crappy towards you lately and…" she said.
"Hey, don't worry about it, ok? I understand." He kissed her again. He begin to nibble on her neck and she began to laugh.
"Hey, that tickles! Stop!" she laughed even harder.
"So, are you feeling ok?" he asked again.
"Well, to tell you the truth, I'm kind of tired."
He wasn't surprised. She hadn't slept well the past week.
"I think I want to go take a nap."
"Ok. I guess I just hang out in here and watch some TV" he said. He was kind of disappointed. It was like the "old" Betty was back and he didn't know how long she was going to stick around. He would like to spend some time with her while she was in a decent mood.
"Alright. Don't let me sleep too long, ok?" she kissed him again and then walked into her bedroom and shut the door.
He flopped down on the couch and turned on the TV. He flipped it to MTV.
"YES!!" he mouthed silently. A Real World Marathon was in progress. He loved that show. He became engrossed in it and was surprised about 15 minutes later when he heard Betty's door open.
"Hey!" he said quickly. "Is the TV too loud, baby?"
"No. I just can't go to sleep. Paddy." she said sleepily "Will you come hold me until I fall asleep?"
"Of course, sweetie." He turned off the TV and followed her into the bedroom. He climbed in and she curled up next to him. She had changed into one of his tee-shirts and a pair of shorts. She looked incredibly sexy. He sighed and inhaled the scent of her hair. He would love to be able to hold her like this everyday. She quickly fell asleep and he ran his hands through her long, silky hair.

He began to think. This treatment was not going quickly. He was supposed to join up with the guys in 3 days but he couldn't leave her like this. She wasn't ready to be left on her own. He didn't know what he had expected. He knew going to one session wouldn't cure her immediately, but well, he didn't realize it would be so long. What was he going to do?

She rolled over in her sleep and he got up quietly. He had a phone call or two to make. He wouldn't be joining the guys anytime soon. They would probably understand. He loved Betty and he was going to stick by her through it all.

"What do you mean, Paddy?" Joey asked him.
"Joey, I need to be here with her right now. She needs me." Paddy said, trying to hold back the emotion that was trying to come out. He had called Angelo, Jimmy, Patricia, and Maite. They had all been extremely cool, but saying all this again for the 5th time was beginning to take a toll on him.
"Paddy, I just don't think that you should take this time off right now. This is a very crucial time in your career. It's a pivotal point…"
"Joey, I'm sorry, but she's more important than promoting this album, she's more important than photo shoots, than any of that."
"Ok. How about we work out a compromise?"
"What?" Paddy asked confused.
"How about we work out of there. We'll come to you. You just have to clear those days up."
"Joey that sounds great. Thanks man."
"Paddy, you've got yourself an awesome woman there. I want you to be able to take care of her. We'll work with you. We'll be in touch, alright?"
"Yeah. Thanks again." He hung up the phone.

"Who was that Pad?" her sleepy voice asked behind him.
He turned around and said: "Joey."
"What did he want?"
"Well, actually I called him. I told him I wouldn't be leaving anytime soon"
"Pad! Aren't you going to be in trouble now? Why did you do that!" she sounded upset.
"Baby, I just don't think I should leave you right now. He's totally cool with it. He's going to send everybody out here for me."
She sat there stunned. What were they going to tell people when they asked why they had to come out here. Did they guys already know what was wrong with her. She knew that Angelo probably did, but did the others? What right did he have to tell them? Her head was reeling.
"Betty? Are you ok?" he asked.
"Yeah!" she lied.
"Are you hungry? Want me to cook some dinner?" he asked and held his breath. He wanted her to eat so badly.
"Yeah, sure. That sounds good." she lied again. How could she eat when all of them would be coming out here.

She sat on the counter and watched him mix up a salad. She didn't even want to think about eating anything he fixed. She had learned not to think about the actually process of eating. She treated it all mechanically.
He put the finishing touches on the table and pulled her off of the counter. Betty sat down in her chair and looked at the table. She didn't want to eat. He began to eat his chicken. He noticed she hadn't touched anything yet. He ignored the fact and began a conversation about what she wanted to do this weekend. He mentioned that he wanted to see Moulin Rouge. She agreed, not knowing what she agreed to. He waited until he was halfway done eating to mention it to her that she hadn't taken a bite yet.
"Oh, yeah!" she said and shoved a piece of lettuce in her mouth. He watched as she ate about three fourths of her meal and then said looked at him and said "I'm full."
"Ok, ok!" he cleared her plate and kissed her on the head. "You've had a rough couple of days. Let's worry about the dishes later and see if we can catch the rest of the Real World Marathon."

They sat on the couch. She began to fidget. She didn't want the food in her stomach anymore. She had to get it out. She couldn't do it. He glanced over at her and noticed that she looked funny.
"Betty?" he asked.
"Yeah?" she sounded like she was in pain.
"You ok?"
"My stomach hurts. Really bad." Tears welled up in her eyes.
He turned her towards him and took her hands in his.
"It hurts because you're not used to keeping anything in your stomach for this long. It's gonna be ok."
She smiled a fake smile, and he returned his attention to the TV.

"I can't do this!" she thought to herself. She gasped. It hurt so bad. She jumped up and yelled "I'm sorry Paddy" and ran to the bathroom. She was in and had the door locked before he realized what happened. As soon as it hit him, he was up and at the door, pounding on it.
"Betty! Don't do it! Baby, please don't! Let me it! Betty, don't!" he heard her gag and he knew it was over. He sank on the ground and began to cry. Tears flowed freely as the sobs raked over his body. Inside the bathroom, Betty finished purging and started to cry herself.

He sat outside the door and kept talking to her. He could hear her crying, but she wouldn't speak to him. He wondered what she was doing in there; it had been an hour since she had abruptly jumped up from the couch. He tried only once to get her to open the door; she wouldn't so he dropped the subject quick.

-- To be continued --