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Fan Fiction

Title: Love is paradise
(Love has dropped by)
Author: Trang Le Thu
Genre: Romance
Started: 21. December 2001

© Trang Le Thu 2001/02
Disclaimer: This story is a purely fiction. Nothing here is true!! All Hawaii descriptions come from the internet and guide books.

PART 12

Alright!! You want US to continue the story? You got it, but hey, don't cry when it doesn't go the way you want to :)) And no bad opinions!! :)) Read and have fun!!

This part is by Barby & by Trang

Paddy awoke from a pleasant dream with a smile on his face and memories of his previous night spent with Agnes made him smile even broader. He didn't realize he was alone until he leaned over to kiss her forehead and saw that she was gone. 'Had it all been just a dream? No, because the haunting scent of her vanilla perfume still lingered behind.' 
Paddy smiled to himself again. 'So this is what it feels like to be in love…' He closed his eyes, and with each breath, he relived the magic of last night all over again. The way she had gazed at the moon as a child entranced… the way she had apologized for walking out on him… the way she had finally stopped fighting her desire and surrendered into his arms… His lips still burned from the fire of her kisses.
He had never felt as perfectly content as he did while he held her in his arms as she had slept . As long as he got to hold her like that every night, he would be the happiest man alive. Total contentment from such simple pleasures in life was truly priceless.
Still smiling, he got up and went inside. The guys were all lounging in the living room watching TV.
"Well, well. Sleeping Beauty awakes!" Jimmy teased.
"Was there something wrong with your perfectly soft and comfortable bed that you would rather sleep on a rickety old lounge chair?" Maite cracked.
Paddy stifled a yawn, didn't say a word he poured himself a cup of coffee, enjoying the curious looks on all their faces.
"Have an interesting night out there last night Paddy?" Joey asked, fishing for info.
"Mmm… maybe" he answered elusively, joining them on the couch.
Johnny pointed to his neck.
"Isn't that Agnes's necklace?"
Paddy's eyebrows creased in confusion as he looked down and saw that he was, indeed, wearing Agnes's beads around his neck. He hadn't even realized they were there.
"Was that like a cute little goodbye gift for you?" Jimmy teased when Paddy still didn't respond.
'Goodbye gift? Goodbye?' Paddy thought nervously.
"Oh shit!!" Paddy exclaimed, bolting up from his seat. He had completely forgotten about Agnes's morning flight. She couldn't have left already, he thought worriedly. She would have come back to say goodbye to him.
He ran out of the room and down to the next suite, whose door was slightly opened. He knocked and pushed the door open, stepping inside. "Hello?" he spoke up.
The maid stuck her head out from the bathroom with a mop in hand.
"Yes? Can I help you?"
Paddy looked around the suite. He saw no signs of occupancy. No suitcases, no clothes. Nothing. It was completely empty.
"The people who were staying here, have they left?" he asked frantically, a pit forming in his stomach.
"I assume so. All their things are gone." She nodded.
"Thank you" Paddy muttered in disappointment. He was out the door again in a flash and ran down to the hall to the elevator. "Come on, come on" he urged, repeatedly pushing the button as if that would magically make the elevator arrive any sooner.
"Hey Pad!" Maite yelled from their doorway. "What's wrong?"
"Agnes left!" he called back. "I have to…" He stopped mid-sentence as the doors opened and disappeared inside.
When he reached the ground floor, he hurried over to the front desk, oblivious to the curious stares of nearby tourists who found it strange to see a disheveled, barefooted young man in nothing but pajama sweats and a tank top running through the lobby.
Paddy inquired as to whether the occupants of Suite 205 had checked out yet.
"Yes, they did!" the clerk told him pleasantly after referring to his computer screen. "At about 10:00 this morning. I believe they have an 11:30 flight."
Paddy glanced at the clock on the wall overhead. It was almost 11:00.
"Call me a cab please! And tell them to hurry! I have a plane to catch!!"
When he returned back upstairs, Maite was still standing by the door, completely perplexed.
"Pad, what's going on? You look possessed."
"Agnes left" Paddy said out of breath as he pushed past her inside.
He threw on his wrinkled shirt from the night before which lay strewn across the bed.
"We knew she was leaving today" Jimmy commented casually, still lounging in front of the TV. "What's the big deal?"
"I have to stop her" Paddy said, grabbing his wallet and running his hands through his hair to tie it to the pony tail.
Johnny patted him on the back good naturedly.
"Forget it, Pad. You won the bet. We all saw the kiss. It was legit. There's nothing left to prove to us."
"Fuck the bet!!! Paddy exploded, his voice unsteady. "I can't let her leave. I love her!"
His announcement sent all four guys into a shocked stupor. They never thought they'd live to hear him say those three little words.
"When did this happen?" Joey croaked.
Paddy cursed as he clumsily fumbled with his shoes.
"I don't know. You figure it out."
"Um, Pad?" Johnny asked tentatively. "I don't mean to rain on your parade, but if Agnes left without saying goodbye, doesn't that mean she probably doesn't want you following her?"
Paddy turned to him wildly.
"No, it doesn't. Agnes loves me. I know she does."
"Did she ever tell you that?"
"Not in those exact words, no. But I know she does. After last night…"
His voice trailed off as he grabbed his wallet.
"I don't have time for this small talk right now."
"What happened 'last night'?" Maite asked warily.
"Not now I said!!!" Paddy shouted and then rushed out the door again without further ado.

"You've been unusually quiet this morning" Scott commented to Agnes, nudging her gently in the shoulder. "What's wrong?"
Agnes forced a reassuring smile.
"I'm just tired, that's all. It's been a long week. Plus I didn't sleep well last night." After a morning full of guilty lies to Scott, a few truthful words finally escaped from her mouth.
"Yeah. I woke up once and you weren't in bed. I figured you were out on your favorite balcony spot. Were you?"
'If you only knew' Agnes thought guiltily.
"Yep. The moon was beautiful last night. Couldn't get enough of it."
"You're such a sap" Scott teased "but that's what makes you so lovable." He leaned across the seat to give her a kiss. Agnes winced at his touch, for the sensation of Paddy's lips on her own was still a vivid memory. She returned Scott's kiss like an obedient girlfriend, but her heart continued to ache for what she had left behind.
"I'm sorry I've been pressuring you a lot this week." Scott murmured in her ear. "It was really insensitive and disrespectful of me."
"You were just stressed out over work" she answered abruptly. "Don't worry about it."
She slipped her Discman out of her bag and put the headphones on her ears, hoping he'd get the hint and give her some time to herself. She couldn't bear to carry on a conversation with him anymore, pretending everything was alright, when she knew in just a few hours, she'd be walking out of his life, exactly as she had walked out of Paddy's.
Paddy. Just the thought of him sent her stomach into knots. Had he woken up yet? How had he reacted to finding her gone?
She could feel herself suffocating from apprehension. Everyone around her was chatting and laughing without a care in the world. Scott had opened his laptop again and was right back inside of his own little world. Agnes wished the plane would hurry up and take off. Because the longer it sat there, the longer she was being given a second chance to get off and run back to Paddy.
She squeezed her eyes shut, but all she could see was his boyish smile returning to haunt her.
A second later, her eyes flew open again as she felt Scott take her hand in his. She guiltily looked over at him and knew that she needed time away from him to sort everything out. She needed to decide what exactly she would say to him and how she would say it. But how could she explain what happened this past week when she didn't really know the answer herself?
Suddenly, she was struck with a brilliant idea.
"Would you object if I stayed over in Cologne for a few days instead of flying back to Bonn with you?" she asked casually.
"Not at all. You want to visit Shirley?" he asked, referring to her long-time childhood friend.
"Yeah. It's been so long" Agnes said wistfully. "We have so much to catch up on. She'd be surprised."
"Then you should definitely visit her. I don't mind flying back alone. I'm gonna need the next couple of days to myself anyway, to catch up on everything at work. So it'll work out perfectly. Although, I'll miss you terribly" he whispered, planting another kiss on her lips.
Agnes managed a pained smile and squeezed his hand in gratitude. Then she quickly returned the headphones to her ears and reclined back in the seat, closing her eyes. She prayed Shirley wouldn't be out of town, because she desperately needed a shoulder to cry on. She also desperately needed advice.

When the cab pulled up to the airport, Paddy fished around in his pockets and dropped a $100 bill on the passenger seat, for lack of any smaller bills.
"Keep the change" he called to the driver and sprang out of the car before it even came to a complete stop.
Dodging porters and hurdles of luggage, he raced inside and elbowed his way to the front of the baggage check-in line, ignoring the grunts and mumbles from the displeased tourists.
A stern looking man behind the counter frowned at him, obviously displeased with the interruption.
"You'll have to wait on line, son!" he told him sharply. "Just like everybody else"
"Can you please just tell me what gate the flight to Bonn is leaving from?" Paddy pleaded breathlessly.
The man sighed dramatically but then, feeling sorry for the desperate state of the young man standing before him, slowly entered a few commands into his computer.
"Gate 781" he said, looking up again. "But…"
"Thanks so much!" Paddy called gratefully as he was already halfway down the corridor.
"But I'm afraid you're ten minutes too late" the man finished, his voice trailing off when he saw Paddy was already out of earshot.
Paddy raced through the airport, like a man possessed, following the maze of signs and arrows to the gate he was looking for. Determination was written all over his face. There were no thoughts in his head at that moment, just a silent prayer that he wasn't too late. He couldn't think, he didn't want to think about what would happen if she wasn't there.
Fear willed his legs to move faster, every second too precious to waste. He was going to make it. He knew he was. Because what kind of ending would it be if he didn't? Agnes was his soulmate. Destiny had brought them together in the most unlikely of circumstances. So now she had to make sure she kept them together, didn't she? They had been through too much for it to end like this…

After what seemed like an eternity, he reached the terminal, but only to find it empty. Looking out the window, he saw there was no plane in the hangar. He was too late, he realized, as his knees became weak and unsteady.
He was too late…
"Can I help you young man?" a lady sitting behind the counter at the front of the terminal asked pleasantly.
"The flight to Bonn… where is it… when does it leave… I'm not too late, am I?" He spoke incoherently, his mind and heart racing with unanswered questions and unrequited emotions.
She pointed out the window to a jet on the runway and smiled sympathetically.
"That's it right there. About to take off. I'm sorry."
Paddy walked like he was in a trance over to the window and watched as the plane slowly reached the end of the runway to turn around. He could still feel Agnes's hand in his, her breath warm on his face. He could still see her smile as brilliant as the morning sun. He could still taste her sweet kisses. She was still so close to him in his heart, yet in a matter of milliseconds, she would be a million miles away. The plane picked up speed, and Paddy squeezed his eyes shut, willing it to stop, willing Agnes to jump up and make them stop the plane, realizing the severity of her mistake.
'Please don't leave me, Agnes. I love you.' He said to himself.
But when he found the strength to reopen them, he saw through his tear blurred vision that the plane had lifted off.
It was finished. He had lost his first and only true love. Collapsing into the nearest chair, he began to weep silently.

'Stop the plane, Agnes. There's still time. Make them stop the plane. You have to come back.'
Agnes didn't recognize the voice inside her head as her own. It's desperate pleas haunted her. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to block it out and the guilt, regret, and anguish it expressed. There was nothing she could do now. It was too late for second chances.
'I love you. Please don't leave me.' She shivered as the voice continued to implore her.
Scott's strong arm was around her in an instant.
"Are you cold?" he asked, concerned.
"I'm fine" Agnes answered weakly. "Just had a chill, that's all."
She willed the voice out of her head as she raised the volume on her Discman and stubbornly fought it from returning.

Four hours later, when a worry-stricken Jimmy reached the terminal, he breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Paddy was still there. However, it pained him to see the sorry state his brother was in.
Paddy was slouched in a chair, staring out the window, his face an emotionless stone. His eyes were red and bloodshot, and tear streaks stained his cheeks.
Jimmy placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Pad?" he called softly.
Paddy slowly turned his head to look up at him and smiled wearily.
"Hey."
"You never came back. We were all worried about you" Jimmy said gently, taking a seat beside him.
"Just waiting for a miracle, I guess." Paddy shrugged in defeat.
As the weight of Paddy's words sunk in, Jimmy finally understood the depth of his emotions for Agnes. His young brother had grown up, matured and ironically fallen in love, all in less than a week's time. The transformation was amazing.
"I'm sorry, Pad. I'm so sorry."
Paddy nodded, but didn't respond. He knew that was the line he would be hearing from now until eternity, everyone telling him how 'sorry' they were.
Sorry about what? They couldn't feel his pain. They didn't know that he had lost a very big part of him when Agnes had left. He was incomplete… and completely lost. He didn't think he'd ever feel whole again.
"If you ever wanna talk about it, you know I'm always here for you, right?"
Paddy nodded again, but was only half-listening to what his brother was saying. He had already made up his mind to follow Agnes. The next flight out was at 7 that evening. He didn't know how he would ever find her or what he would even say, but he needed to go. All he knew was that he couldn't lose her now, especially when he worked so hard to win her.
"Flight to Bonn leaves at 7 tonight" he said quietly.
Jimmy looked at him in confusion.
"But I thought Agnes left on this morning's flight."
"Flight for me leaves at 7 tonight" Paddy corrected him, his voice devoid of emotion.
"Don't be silly" Jimmy said, letting out a nervous laugh. "You're not gonna follow her." But when he looked into Paddy's eyes and saw the depth of their determination, he realized his brother was serious.
"No, Pad… You can't" he said again, more sternly this time.
"I have to, Jimmy."
"No you don't. It just wasn't meant to be. It was a one week fling, nothing more. You have to let it go."
Paddy sprang out of his chair, enraged by Jimmy's choice of words.
"A fling!?!? How can you say that? You don't even know what went down, Jimmy! What we shared together was so much more than that!"
"Well, obviously, it means much more to you than it did to her, otherwise she wouldn't have taken off " Jimmy spat back sarcastically.
"She had her reasons." Paddy said, quick to defend her. "Things were complicated. She just needed a little time to settle them, that's all."
"She didn't even say goodbye, Paddy!" Jimmy, said, raising his voice as he desperately tried to get his point across to his stubborn brother.
There was no way he was going to let Paddy follow Agnes back to Bonn, for he knew he'd only end up getting hurt yet again. His whole opinion of Agnes had changed that morning when he saw how she had heartlessly deserted Paddy without so much as an explanation, let alone a goodbye. She had recklessly toyed with his innocent heart, and sure enough, ended up breaking it. To him, that was certainly not someone worth chasing after. If Paddy was smart, he'd walk away and never look back. But that was the problem. Paddy wasn't smart. He was impulsive, passionate, thick-headed and so incredibly stubborn.
"It doesn't matter" Paddy said "I'm gonna find her and bring her back."
"No you're not" Jimmy ordered.
"I'm getting on that plane tonight and you can't stop me!" Paddy yelled angrily. He started to walk away but Jimmy grabbed his arm.
"Take the blinders off, Paddy! Agnes used you. She used you! She had her fun with you this week and then threw you aside like an old toy when it came time to leave. By tonight she'll be kissing her boyfriend again and will have forgotten about you completely!"
Paddy flinched at Jimmy's harsh words as his eyes welled up with tears. All that Jimmy was saying couldn't be true. It couldn't. Jimmy didn't know what he was talking about. Jimmy never saw the way Agnes looked at him last night and all the desire and emotion she had expressed without even saying a word… Jimmy never felt the fire in her kisses or the electricity her fingers generated when they had touched… Jimmy wasn't there when she had broken down and cried to him, vulnerable and confused, yet deeming him trustworthy enough to pour her heart out to… Jimmy didn't know a thing about love… He just didn't know… 
"I love her" Paddy said quietly.
"But she doesn't love you, Pad. Can't you see that?"
Paddy shook his head sadly, running a weary hand through his disheveled hair. This day was turning out to be a nightmare. He wished desperately that he would wake up, so he could find himself back on the balcony with Agnes safe in his arms.
Jimmy stepped closer to him, placing a comforting arm around his shoulder.
"Let's get back, huh?" he said gently. "You look like you can use a hot shower and a change of clothes."
But Paddy swiped his hand away, his blue eyes piercing Jimmy's.
"Leave me alone." he hissed angrily.
Then he turned and stormed off before Jimmy could see him cry.

After Paddy left Jimmy at the airport, he wandered around aimlessly through the streets like a lost soul. He was hungry. He was tired. But it was the overwhelming pain in his heart which negated everything else. He didn't know what to do. Never before had he felt so completely lost and confused.
He wouldn't admit it to Jimmy, but deep down, a part of him knew his brother was right. Agnes had loved him and then left him. He should be angry with her for being so cruel. She didn't deserve to be chased after. She didn't deserve to be cried over. In fact, she didn't deserve another second of Paddy's time or love or affection.
Angry tears burned at his eyes as so many unanswered questions raced through his mind. Had it all been a lie? Did he read too much into what had happened between them last night? Did he expect more than he should have? Was it the difference of their worlds that caused her to leave? Was Agnes back with Scott again? But how could she be after the way he had treated her? And most of all, why did she leave without even saying goodbye?
After a while, he found himself back at the pier, looking for her, but she was gone. How ironic, he thought to himself bitterly. He sat down on the dock, dangling his legs over the side, remembering how Agnes had surprisingly let him talk her into going sailing with him that day. He had expected her to have put up more of a fight, being as stubborn and proud as she was. But she hadn't, and that was when Paddy had begun to notice the change.
In fact, he had noticed the change two days before, beginning from the day when he was sick and she came to visit him. They had bonded that day. Even though they still bickered constantly, it became more of a friendly sparring game compared to the many malicious words they had exchanged earlier in the week. Agnes had tried desperately to remain aloof and detached, but Paddy had seen right through her tough exterior and it amused him each time she accidentally let her guard down.
It was during the hike that he realized he was attracted to her. Who wouldn't be? She was intelligent, blonde, sophisticated and had the most brilliant blue eyes he had ever seen. But it wasn't until the day he sat in her room when she was sick, watching her sleep, that he began to discover his physical attraction was turning into something deeper.
He was intrigued by Agnes, invigorated by her presence. He used to look forward to seeing her smile and hearing her laugh, even though they were never directed at him, of course. When he was with her, he felt oddly satisfied, like he didn't need anything or anyone else to keep him happy. Agnes alone had become his sole source of contentment.
He had adamantly sworn to the guys that he'd never fall in love. But somehow, he had. In the midst of the challenging bet, his motives had changed. He had fallen in love despite his determination not to. Only fools fall in love, he used to preach. Love ain't nothing but a ball and chain.
'Damn Kelly. Look where love got you. Absolutely nowhere. You're the biggest fool of them all.' He thought.
Paddy ripped off the necklace in frustration and buried it in his fist, wanting to throw it as far out into the ocean as possible. But he stopped with his arm in mid-air and brought his hand back down to his lap. Opening it, he curiously fingered the delicate necklace, wondering why Agnes had left it for him. Was it supposed to be a cheap and cowardly replacement for a goodbye? Did she leave it behind to torture him, a constant reminder of what he wanted but could not have? Or did it mean something more?
Paddy could let his fairy-tale imagination run wild and think of a million reasons why she left him the necklace, but he knew he didn't have the strength to be enslaved to such false hopes and illusions.
'How did I get myself into this mess?' he asked himself sadly. 'I was always so confident… so in control of my life and my emotions… Now look at me… I'm sitting here, pathetically crying over a girl. I have never cried over a girl before. Whenever I get dumped, I laugh in amusement and then excitedly set my sights on my next conquest , ready for a change… So come on, Kelly. Get up, laugh and start looking for that lucky girl… The day is young and you still have a week left in paradise for a little fun in the sun…'
But he was not able to take his own advice. That was the old Paddy Kelly talking. The immature, insensitive, arrogant old Paddy. He wasn't that boy he once was. Agnes had changed him. Agnes had worked a miracle and had accomplished the impossible. Because of her, he had learned the meaning of true love. A true love which was too strong to let him turn his back on and just walk away. He was willing and ready to fight for that love, if that's what it would take, because it suddenly meant more to him than life itself.
Sighing wearily, he looked at his watch and saw it was almost 5:00. He stood up, slipping the necklace into his pocket and took one last wistful glance out across the ocean. Suddenly, he turned and hurried back to the hotel to pack. He had a plane to catch.

"And then what happened?" Johnny asked worriedly.
Jimmy shrugged helplessly.
"Then he just stormed out with this wild look in his eye." He had just finished relaying the whole story to the rest.
"Are you sure he didn't come back here yet?"
"Nope. We've been here all day. There was no way he could have snuck by us." Joey shook his head.
"Besides, all his stuff is still here." Maite pointed out. "He can't go to Bonn empty handed."
"Maybe he changed his mind" Johnny offered hopefully.
"We can only hope" Jimmy answered gravely.
"What are you so worked up for?" Maite asked. "If Paddy wants to go to Bonn, let him go. If we were in the middle of touring this week, that'd be a different story. But if he's really adamant about it, don't discourage him."
"Don't discourage him!? So you're saying we should just sit back and allow him to get hurt yet again?"
Joey nodded in response.
"That's the only way he'll learn, Jimmy. He's a big boy now. He has to make his own decisions… and his own mistakes in between."
"Besides" Johnny added quietly "Maybe he knows something we don't know. For him to chase after her, he's gotta have a good reason."
"You're just as gullible as Paddy is." Jimmy cracked sarcastically. "No, he doesn't have a good reason. He's emotionally unstable and is not thinking straight. Damn it. Why does he have to be so stubborn?"
"Have you ever been in love, Jimmy?" Maite asked knowingly.
That silenced him for the moment and he collapsed back onto the sofa in exasperation.
"Of course you haven't!" Maite continued. "None of us have for real. Except for Joey and Johnny, who are in a happy relationships, whithout any troubles. So how can we possibly understand what Paddy is going through right now? We can't."
"Would you chase after someone after they did to you what she did to Paddy?" Jimmy countered.
"Personally… no… I probably wouldn't. But it's hard to make that call without actually being in the situation. There must be something there between the two of them that Paddy feels is worth fighting for."
"Maybe he…" Joey began, but abruptly cut himself off when the door opened and a ragged Paddy walked in.
"Hey" he mumbled a quiet greeting, eyes downcast, for he couldn't bring himself to meet their pitying gazes.
"How are you doing?" Maite asked gently.
"Fine" he responded tersely and hurried into his room to begin packing.
"I'm leaving for Bonn for a few days." he casually called out to them. "Plane leaves in two hours. I guess I'll just meet you guys back in Berlin on Friday."
"Paddy!" Jimmy called back in a warning tone.
Paddy reappeared in the doorway as he was unbuttoning his shirt.
"I'm not speaking to you." he shot out angrily. "We're not having this conversation!" Then he disappeared again and the guys heard him running the water for a shower.
Jimmy let out a little disgruntled laugh and shot Maite an I-told-you-so look.
When they heard the bathroom door shut, they were able to speak freely again.
"What did you do to him, Jimmy?" Joey asked, half-joking.
"I told him the truth. But obviously he's not mature enough to handle it."
"He's worse off than I thought" Johnny worried aloud.
"Do you see the state he's in?" Jimmy asked. "Now do you still think it's a good idea for him to go to Bonn?"
None of the responded. They was torn between wanting to protect Paddy and knowing deep down they had to let him finally grow up on his own. The time had come.

"What if one of us went with him?" Joey offered.
Maite shook her head.
"I doubt he'd let us. He knows he has to do on his own."
"So that's it?" Jimmy asked. "You're just gonna let him take off then?"
"We have to. This is something he feels he needs to do."
"Fine!" Jimmy said, annoyed at his siblings' apathy. "But when he comes back next week a total mess and it starts to affect his performance, don't come crying to me, because I'll only say I told you so." Then he got up and stormed into his room, slamming the door behind him.
"Geez, what's happened to us this week?" Joey asked "We're all falling apart."
"This will all pass soon." Johnny reassured him. "It has to."
"He's going to be fine!" Joey said worriedly "Paddy is strong and he's got a good head on his shoulders. Besides, I taught him well."
"And that makes me feel so much better" Maite cracked.
Joey threw a pillow at her, which lightened their somber mood.
"I've gotta stop worrying so much in my old age!" Maite joked "Or I'll go grey before I'm 30"
Then she sighed and stood up. "I guess I'll go help him pack."

She knocked on Paddy's door and stuck her head inside. Paddy had all his clothes strewn across the bed and was shoving everything into one suitcase.
"Need some help?" Maite offered.
"Sure. Thanks."
They fell into an uncomfortable silence until Maite finally spoke.
"I'm okay with letting you go, Pad, but I want to make sure you know that whatever happens, we're here for you."
"I know" Paddy mumbled quietly, concentrating too hard on folding his shirts. He was waiting for Maite to give him the exact same speech he had heard from Jimmy only hours before.
"And take it easy on Jimmy. He's only looking out for you."
"He insulted me, Maite. You don't know the kinds of things he was saying to me at the airport. Hurtful things about myself… and Agnes."
"He was just overreacting. You know how he gets sometimes."
"Yeah, well, there's only so much I can take. I have a breaking point, too, you know."
They lapsed into another silence until Paddy found the courage to speak.
"So you didn't come in here to tell me I'm making the biggest mistake of my life?"
"I trust you, bro. Whatever your reasons are for going, I respect them."
"I'm going for closure more than anything else. I mean, she was the one who left me, so it's not like I'm expecting her to run into my arms when she sees me, but… I guess I just need answers… I need to know what our time together meant to her…"
"What did it mean to you?" Maite asked proudly, wishing Jimmy was there to witness Paddy's maturity.
"I thought it was love, sis… I really thought it was love… But how the hell do I know what love is?" he scoffed "The longest I've ever had a girlfriend was two weeks."
Paddy had never appeared so innocent and vulnerable to Maite as he did at that moment.
"Love is a funny emotion, Pad. Not that I can talk from experience or anything, but I've heard that when it hits you, you just know."
"But how can you be sure?"
"You can't, really. That's why it's called playing by heart. It's an amazing feeling that you can't put into words."
Paddy smiled faintly.
"I held her last night as she slept… and I knew there was nowhere else in the world I wanted to be at that very moment… I was so perfectly… content.." His eyes became watery and he quickly hardened up again. "But there's no point dwelling on all that now. I've got a plane to catch."
He locked his suitcase, slung his carry-on bag over his shoulder and made one last quick sweep of the room with his eyes to see if he was forgetting anything.
Maite bent down and picked up the beaded necklace which was peeking out from beneath Paddy's pile of dirty clothes.
"How about this?" she asked, holding it up for him to see.
"Thanks" Paddy said gratefully, and dropped it into the pocket of his jeans. He grabbed his cap, slipped it on backwards and followed Maite back into the living room.
"We called you a cab" Joey said to Paddy when he emerged from his room. "It should be outside by now."
"Thanks guys… for everything." He could feel himself getting all choked up again and fought his hardest to remain strong. He couldn't break down in front of the guys. He had to prove to them all, especially Jimmy, that he was mature enough to handle this.
"Do you want us to ride with you to the airport?" Johnny offered.
"Thanks, but I'm okay. Go have some dinner and then hit a club. The night is young." He forced a smile and slung his bag over his shoulder. He picked up his suitcase and was halfway out the door when he turned back to his brothers. "See you in a few days."
Jimmy emerged from his room, experiencing a guilty change of heart.
"Good luck, bro. I hope you find what you're looking for."
"Thanks, Jimmy" Paddy said quietly. "So do I."
"And if you need anything, just call us" he added sincerely.
Paddy nodded gratefully and then gave a half-hearted wave before walking out of the suite, filled with fear and uncertainty. The child in him wanted to turn around and run back inside where he'd remain sheltered and protected by his brothers, but he knew that child didn't exist anymore. It had quickly vanished earlier that morning when he had woken up, greeted by nothing but a broken heart.
He needed answers, and even though he knew he was just setting himself up for another disappointment, he could not surrender until he found what he was looking for.
His faith in miracles all but destroyed, he braced himself for the worst, and hurried down the hall to the elevator. He had a plane to catch.

Oupss... you're loosing me, you're loosing my life... Let's sing together :)) No, you better vote. Your question is: Will Paddy catch the plane? 52% of you want he to catch the plane, and 48% don't want to.

 { PART 13 }