Web Hosting by Netfirms | Free Domain Names by Netfirms

Fan Fiction

Title: Love is paradise
(Love has dropped by)
Author: Trang Le Thu
Genre: Romance
Started: 21. December 2001

© Trang Le Thu 2001/02
Disclaimer: This story is a purely fiction. Nothing here is true!! All Hawaii descriptions come from the internet and guide books.

PART 13

The last voting was terrible :)) Once it was more for 'Yes' and once for 'No'. I didn't know what to write... And I made up something... it's not matter if he caught the plane or not :)) Agnes flew to Frankfurt and Paddy to Bonn, so they can't meet anyway :)) Now read and find out what will happen after they both landed in two other cities.

"You love him, don't you?" Shirley asked sympathetically once Agnes had finished relaying the whole story to her.
"Is it that obvious?" Agnes nodded.
"No, but I've known you for how many years now?" she teased. "You can't hide anything from me."
Agnes managed a faint smile, but then broke down and began to cry. Shirley was at her side in an instant, pulling her into a tight embrace.
"I love him!" Agnes sobbed as the severity of her mistake was still sinking in. "I love him. How could I leave him like that? I didn't even say goodbye… I didn't even say goodbye…"
"Sshhh. It's okay!" Shirley soothed as she rubbed Agnes's back, trying to comfort her friend. "You probably don't believe it right now, but you made the right decision. He's too different, Agnes. Too famous. You wouldn't have had a future with him anyway. I would have done the same thing. It's for the best. Really."
"But I didn't even say goodbye… how cruel is that?"
"It's probably better that way. If he cared about you as much as you say he did, he might have gotten too emotional. That would have made it harder to leave."
"But he loved me. Do you realize what it took for him to admit that?"
"Maybe he thought it was love, but it was only lust. Besides, one week is too quick to fall in love anyway."
"It was love." Agnes shook her head sadly.
"You sure?" Shirley asked gently.
"Not a doubt in my mind." She wiped her eyes and sighed heavily. She was exhausted and emotionally drained as well. "I'm never going to see him again, am I?"
"You never know. Fate works in mysterious ways."
Agnes fell silent as she pondered her friend's words. Fate had led her to Paddy in the first place but she had foolishly turned her back on the wonderful gift she had been given. Fate wouldn't be sympathetically granting her any more favors for a long time.
"So what's gonna happen with Scott?"
"As soon as I get back, I'm gonna tell him it's over." Agnes shrugged wearily, sighing again.
"What happened to you guys?"
"We just grew apart, I guess… His job always came between us… He's became very self-absorbed lately. It's like I don't exist to him anymore. I'm just there for entertainment, his diversion, nothing more. He wants more out of our relationship which I'm just not ready to give him yet… but he keeps pressuring me about it…There's lots of reasons why…"
"So you never slept with him then? After 2 years?" Shirley asked in surprise.
Agnes shook her head silently.
"Please don't get mad if I ask why not."
"Because I had doubts. Major doubts. I wasn't going to give myself completely to somebody when I wasn't sure how they really felt about me and vice versa." Agnes smiled faintly. 
Shirley nodded in understanding.
"I don't blame you, then. You did the right thing." She paused a moment and then asked "How 'bout Paddy?"
"What about him?"
"Did you sleep with him?"
Agnes shook her head pensively.
"No… But you know what? I probably would have if it had come down to that. The way I felt in his arms… it was a contentment I had never experienced before."
"Wouldn't you have been the envy of every teenybopper in the country then" Shirley joked lightly.
Agnes laughed painfully but then burst out crying once again.
"I'm sorry, Agnes. I'm just trying to give some light on the situation and cheer you up."
Agnes nodded in understanding, sniffling back her tears.
"Come on. It's been a long day. You should try and get some sleep." Shirley took her hand and helped her up.
"There's no way I can sleep yet!" she groaned, wiping her eyes. "I'm not even that tired."
"Yes you are. You're exhausted. I can see it in your face." She pulled back the covers, sternly patting the bed. "Come on. Lay down."
Agnes hesitated. she knew as soon as she closed her eyes, the only thing she'd see would be Paddy's face.
"What's wrong?"
"He's everywhere, Shirley… I can still feel him right here beside me… I'm afraid to close my eyes."
Shirley squeezed Agnes's hand, not used to seeing her so vulnerable. Agnes had always been the stronger of the pair, the steadfast, stubborn, hard-as-a-rock fighter who never surrendered or admitted to fear. Yet now, she was falling apart right before her eyes.
"It's going to be hard for awhile, but it'll get better with time. You're strong, Agnes. I know you can pull through this."
"But what if Paddy can't?" she whispered worriedly.
"He will. Knowing how busy they are, he'll have plenty to distract him. And so will you. School starts in two weeks. Remember? It's just hard now, Agnes, because you're still overly emotional from the whole crazy week. But tomorrow you'll wake up and the logical reasons, why you made the decision you did, will start to make more sense… You'll see."
"Thanks for listening. I'm so glad I'm here with you. I don't know what I would have done otherwise…" Agnes gave Shirley a grateful hug.
Shirley returned the hug.
"I'm so glad you're here, too. I've missed you so much." Then she pointed to the bed again, pretending to be stern.
Agnes was too weak to protest any further. She climbed into bed, pulling the blanket over her as she hugged her knees to her chest.
"Try and get some sleep. You'll feel much better in the morning. I promise." She shut the light and walked out of the room, closing the door behind her.
Agnes wanted to believe her friend, but somehow, she wasn't so sure…

Agnes glanced over at the glowing numbers of the bedside clock for the umpteenth time that night. It read 3:25 AM. Only three minutes had passed since she had last checked. She sighed quietly, staring back up at the ceiling.
This wasn't how it was supposed to be. She had left Paddy in order to make both their lives a lot simpler. But ironically, today had been the longest and hardest day of her life so far.
She missed him terribly. She never imagined the bittersweet yearning would be so intense. She could still feel the comfort of his strong arms around her, and her heart ached to know she would never be held by him again. Nor would she see his cocky but adorable smile or hear his boyish laugh which had become music to her ears. Well, maybe on TV, of course, but sadly that priceless smile and laugh would never be directed at her anymore.
Why did she leave him? Why didn't she just ditch Scott like he had been ditching her for the past two years? How could she place him over Paddy like that? When Paddy had been so compassionate, so caring, so loving… But maybe it wasn't love after all. Maybe Shirley was right. One week is not nearly enough time to fall in love. They barely knew each other. They had just been reckless and impulsive, giving in to temptation and mistaking love for plain old physical attraction. If that was the case, why was she was so worried about Paddy, then? She wouldn't have given him another thought if her feelings didn't run any deeper than lust. But her own pain seemed so trivial compared to her overwhelming concern for him. She prayed that he wasn't too devastated and actually hoped he would casually shrug it off like any other typical guy would, dubbing it as nothing more than a fling and find himself a new conquest to entertain him for the rest of the week. She also hoped that in time he would grow to understand and possibly even forgive her.
She loved him. She could deny it all she wanted, but it was an unmistakable truth. He had totally possessed every part of her heart during their short time together. And now that heart was empty…

Paddy took a deep breath, mustered up enough courage and knocked on the door. When it opened, he found himself face to face with the guy he had sat next to in the strip club only a week earlier. That same man who had so rudely disrespected his girlfriend by mocking her and her beliefs. 
And it was because of this same man that Agnes had walked out on him. 
Paddy couldn't help feeling nothing but contempt. Scott gave him a curious, inquisitive look.
"Can I help you?"
Paddy swallowed his pride and offered his hand politely.
"I'm Paddy. A friend of Agnes's. We met this past week in Hawaii."
Scott shook Paddy's hand, still eyeing him warily, waiting for an explanation. When Scott didn't speak, Paddy continued, a little unnerved.
"I really need to talk to her. I was wondering if you could tell me where I could find her."
"How did you find me?" Scott countered, in an attempt at intimidation.
"The hotel gave me your address, after a little bribery of course". He laughed nervously but quickly sobered up when he saw the serious look on Scott's face.
"What do you want?" Scott asked bluntly.
"I need to find Agnes."
"Why?"
"Why?" Paddy repeated, his voice trailing off.
Why had he followed her all the way back here to Bonn? What was he hoping to accomplish? Why did he feel the need to see her again? What did he even plan on saying to her? He didn't have answers to any of those questions, so how was he supposed to answer Scott?
"It's between me and Agnes." he replied after a moment. "I don't think I owe you any explanations."
Scott sneered at the man, who was standing in his doorway.
"Agnes is my girlfriend. Anything that involves her involves me, so either you start talking or you'll be having fun searching this whole city inside and out trying to find her yourself."
If there was one thing Paddy couldn't handle, it was being given an ultimatum. He lost his patience and gave Scott a piece of his mind.
"Your 'girlfriend'!?" he spat back. "Well does your 'girlfriend' know about the whore you left the strip club with that night?"
Scott flinched in surprise, and then suddenly recognized the familiar face. He knew he had seen this boy before. He just couldn't figure out where. "Are you accusing me of something?" he demanded, stepping threateningly close to Paddy.
Paddy held up his hands and backed away.
"I'm not here to pick a fight with you!" he said in disgust. "I just need to find Agnes."
"So you can tell her lies about me screwing around? Or have you told her already?"
"I didn't tell her anything. It's none of my business."
"Damn straight it's not. Now get lost before I call the cops."
Scott tried to slam the door shut but Paddy intervened.
"Please tell me where I can find her… I'm begging you."
When Scott saw the desperation in his eyes, he began to understand.
"You've got a little crush on my girlfriend!" he teased condescendingly. "Awww… isn't that sweet?" He proceeded to laugh in amusement. "Sorry, to break it to you, but she stayed over in Frankfurt for a week to visit an old friend."
Paddy was crushed at the news. He had flown over 10 hours for nothing. She wasn't even in Bonn. Scott patted the top of his head in mock sympathy.
"I hate to burst your bubble, but you didn't stand a chance anyway, little boy."
Scott was bigger and he looked more mature and elegance than Paddy. Although they are in the same age, Paddy looked younger than Scott.
Paddy had endured as much abuse as he could handle when he heard Scott words. He couldn't take it anymore. He glared at Scott with hateful eyes.
"Yeah, well, isn't it ironic that all week she'd been giving this 'little boy' what you've been waiting over two years for?" he spat back, well-aware of the fact that he was telling a major lie, but was too hurt and insulted to even care.
"What did you just say?" Scott asked, as his amusement quickly faded and his contempt now matched Paddy's.
"You heard me."
"No, I don't think I did". 
It was as if Scott was daring him to admit it again. He had nothing to lose. He already lost the only thing that mattered to him, so he continued on with his fabrication. If he couldn't be with Agnes, then Scott certainly didn't deserve her either. There would be no justice in that.
"Your girlfriend was a nice roll in the sack. Maybe she'll let you try it with her sometime."
Scott lunged for Paddy, pinning him up against the wall.
"You've got some hell of a nerve."
"And you don't?" Paddy countered, struggling against Scott's tight grip. "You've been screwing around behind her back all week! Just accept the truth, man. You're just not giving her what she needs. So she had to look elsewhere. That's where I came in. And boy it sure was sweet."
He didn't even recognize his own voice anymore. It was as if he was masochistically asking for more trouble, as if he wasn't in enough already.
"You little pig" Scott seethed as he punched Paddy in the face and then twice in the stomach.
Paddy dropped to the floor, a crumpled mess, struggling to find his breath after the hard blows.
"You are so pathetic, you know that? You come here, looking for my help, but then admit to screwing around with my girlfriend! How dumb can you possibly be? But now you'll never find her. I'll make damn sure of that."
"At least I loved her!" Paddy said quietly as he slowly regained his footing. "That's more than she can say for you."
Scott let out a little laugh of disgust and then turned to go back inside. As he tried to shut the door for a second time, Paddy stopped him again.
"Give Agnes a message for me. Tell her I would have given her the world, that's how much she meant to me. But since she chose you instead, she better not come running back after you screw her over and break her heart. Because to me, she doesn't exist to me anymore."
He choked on those last words and then turned and stormed off, angry tears stinging his eyes.

Paddy lay sprawled on the bed in his hotel room, idly flipping channels on the TV with one hand and holding an ice pack to his bruised eye with the other. He felt completely numb, devoid of any emotion. He wasn't really watching TV. Instead, he was just staring trance-like straight through the screen, trying not to think anymore, for it hurt too much. It hurt to realize he had been wrong to follow Agnes all the way back to Bonn because he was in a sorrier state now than he had been yesterday morning when she had left. He should have listened to Jimmy. But once again, he was too thick-headed and too stubborn.
He had spitefully turned off his cell phone because he wasn't in the mood to answer to his siblings just yet. He knew they were probably worried sick but he couldn't bear the thought of relaying his stupidity all over to them. It would be way too painful.
How could he have been so foolish as to let his temper get the better of him? He had considered going back, apologizing to Scott and getting down on his knees to beg for help, but he knew Scott would not be sympathetic. 
He had just told the guy he had slept with his girlfriend. He was lucky he didn't have two black eyes.

He still didn't know why he had lied. It was as if he was purposely trying to hurt Agnes in return for hurting him. She had stolen his happiness away, so she didn't deserve to be happy, either. It was a childish thing to do, and it certainly didn't make him feel any better, but it had just been an impulsive retaliation.
What had he been thinking? Did he really believe that pissing Scott off would convince him to help him find Agnes? He had just lost control and exploded. Jimmy used to always lecture him about not thinking before speaking, yet once again, he didn't heed his brother's wise advice and had ruined the only chance he had left. He would never see Agnes again… Now it was definite…
Sighing aloud, he shut off the TV and the bedside light and curled into a ball, letting the darkness envelop him. Why did he have to fall in love? He used to be a firm believer that he was better off without it, and now that he'd suffered its cruel consequences, he knew he had been right all along. If he had only been stronger and fought it off… then he wouldn't have suffered at all… The stupid bet was supposed to be nothing but a game to him, a challenge. He was only in it for the money and the respect of his siblings. He never imagined it would turn into something much more. What was it about Agnes that had made him so damn weak? Paddy squeezed his eyes shut, tired of thinking so much. That's all he'd been doing for the past two days. He was never going to get any answers, so what was the use?

Cursing his pathetic state, he began to fear he would never get over Agnes. He had a life to get back to, a life in the spotlight in which he brought pleasure to millions of girls worldwide. They depended on him, looked up to him, worshipped him. If he couldn't pull through this and convert back to the old Paddy Kelly the world knew and loved, he would lose it all… the fame, the admiration and most of all, the respect. And he worked way too hard to lose it all now.
He'd pull himself together… eventually. Time cures all wounds, so they say. But would he really be able to revert back to the carefree, giddy teenager he once was? More dead end questions without answers…
However, in the midst of all the uncertainty, there was one thing he knew for sure. He was never going to see Agnes again. And a part of him didn't want to. What he had told Scott before walking away had been true. From now on, Agnes didn't exist anymore. She couldn't exist if he was ever going to recover from this. The burden of old painful memories would only weigh him down. He had a life to get back to, and there was no room in that life for regrets. Despite his feeble attempt at a self-pep-talk, he was overcome with an overwhelming sense of loss which he tried to fight off but it was too powerful.
He could fool himself all he wanted but the one inevitable truth still remained. He missed her terribly. His empty arms ached to hold her again… His lips yearned for more sweet kisses… And her smile… without it, his day was just so cold…
A single tear trickled down his cheek which he angrily swiped away. He still loved her. But he hated her, too. He despised her insensitivity, her selfishness, her lies… and he despised her for the broken heart she had cruelly left him with… She had been so convincing… Rubbing his eyes wearily, Paddy implored sleep to come so he could escape into its painless oblivion.

(3 days later)
"Hello boys!!!" Patricia greeted the guys with warm hugs and kisses. "Gosh, it feels like I haven't seen you in ages! Did you enjoy your vacation?"
"We had a ball" Joey told her enthusiastically. "I've never seen so many beautiful women in one place before!"
"What can I get you to eat? Or drink?" Patricia asked.
"Nothing thanks" Jimmy told her politely. "We just stopped by to see Paddy. Dad said he is staying with you for a while. Is he here?"
"He's upstairs in his room, I even didn't notice when since when our guestroom is his." Patricia joked, then she became more concerned "He hasn't said much since he got home. He hasn't really eaten much either. And all he does is sleep. I'm worried about him but he won't talk to me. Is everything okay?"
"I'm sure he's fine!" Maite assured her, but deep down, she was just as concerned. "He's just probably in one of his funks again. You know how he gets."
"Yeah. End of vacation blues." Joey teased lightly. "It's back to work tomorrow."
"I know!" Patricia said disappointedly.
"We'll be back again in… oh… seven months" Jimmy cracked.
"That makes me feel so much better, thanks Jimmy." She pointed to the stairs. "Go on up. Maybe you can help cure his blues."
"We can try, but you know how thick-headed he can be" Johnny joked as they filed up the stairs.
They knocked on Paddy's door and barged right in, not bothering to wait for him to answer it.
"Alright Paddy, enough games" Maite demanded. "Why have you been avoiding us?"
"3 days we did nothing but sit around the hotel room waiting to hear from you!" Jimmy reprimanded him. "We were so worried! How could you turn off your phone like that?"
Paddy groaned and pulled the blanked over his head.
"Go away. I'm sleeping." he muttered.
"Patricia says you've been sleeping for 4 days straight!" Johnny said, pulling up the shades and letting the sunlight in. "Geez, it's like a mortuary in here" he mumbled to himself.
Joey sat down on the edge of the bed and patted Paddy's leg.
"Come on, Pad!" he said gently. "We're worried about you. Talk to us. Please?"
Paddy responded with silence.
"Don't make me hurt you" Jimmy threatened playfully pulling his blanket off of the bed, but then quickly sobered up when he saw the dark welt around Paddy's eye. "What happened?" he asked, his voice full of brotherly concern.
"I got elbowed on the subway" Paddy lied, snatching the blanket out of his hands and lying back down.
"Liar" Jimmy accused him.
"What was that, Jimmy?" Paddy shot him a look of death across the room.
"You don't have to lie to us, Pad!" he continued in a gentler tone. "It's okay. We're here for you."
Paddy stormed over to Jimmy, his patience already worn thin from the heartbreaking, frustrating past few days. He pointed to his eye and shouted:
"I got elbowed on the subway!" emphasizing each word in order to make himself clear.
"An accidental elbowing wouldn't have had such perfect aim!" Jimmy shouted back.
Paddy flinched and turned away.
'Don't break down again, Paddy. Not here. Not now. Prove to the guys you are handling this maturely.' He said to himself.
But when he felt Johnny's arm around his shoulder, he couldn't hold it back any longer. He wasn't strong enough. He buried his face in his hands and began to cry.
The guys fell into a stunned silence. They had never seen Paddy so vulnerable before and didn't quite know how to react. Johnny walked Paddy back over to the bed to sit him down, and then sat down beside him, his arm still around his shoulders for comfort. He flashed the guys a look of helplessness and they returned the gesture with the same exact look. He rubbed Paddy's back to soothe him, knowing his brother would speak when he was ready.
Paddy rubbed his eyes wearily, taking a deep breath and letting it out in a loud, painful sigh.
"What's happening to me, guys?" he asked, his voice filled with fear and uncertainty.
"We don't know, Pad. We were hoping you'd tell us." Joey cracked lightly 
Paddy shrugged, shaking his head in despair. "I don't know either… It's like I reached a certain point and then just… cracked… I feel so… dead… like nothing matters to me anymore."
"Did you get to see Agnes?" Maite asked.
"No… She stayed in Frankfurt to visit a friend. She never went back to Bonn."
"So I take it you ran into Scott then?" Jimmy commented, still persisting on the subject of Paddy's black eye.
"Can I just say I lost my temper and leave it at that, please?" he implored. "I really don't want to relive it all over again."
"Maybe you need to talk about it and get if off your chest."
"There's nothing to talk about!!! I didn't see Agnes, I got into a fight with her boyfriend, and I'm still going crazy without any answers!"
He picked up his basketball and flung it across the room in frustration, sending all his picture frames and awards on his desk crashing to the floor. Then he slumped down to the floor beside his bed.
"I'm sorry" he apologized quietly.
The guys just watched him in pity, not forcing any more questions on him. They knew he would talk when he was ready. He sat there, face in hands, for what seemed like an eternity. Finally, he looked up, and his eyes which used to be full of life's excitement had lost their gleam.
"Scott was a real asshole. He wouldn't tell me where Agnes was and he kept insulting me. So I just got so frustrated with him and the whole damn situation that I told him I slept with her. That pissed him off, of course, because he's been trying for two years. But stupid me didn't stop there. It was as if I was masochistically asking for trouble. I made a few more nasty comments about how good it was, etc, until he finally exploded and…" His voice trailed off as he pointed shamefully to his eye. "You get the picture."
"Why did you lie to him?" Maite asked confused.
"I don't know. Spite? Plain old revenge? Agnes ruined my life so I wanted to ruin hers."
"You should have called us, Pad" Johnny said in sympathy.
"There's a lot of things I should have done." Paddy scoffed.
"We're sorry you didn't find what you were looking for." Joey told him.
Paddy shrugged off their sympathy.
"I'm not. I'm glad it worked out this way. It's better that I didn't see her after all. It would have made things even harder, I think. I need to get on with my life."
"But you're not." Jimmy pointed out. "You've been sitting here, in mourning for three days straight. That's letting her win. You've gotta beat this… be strong."
Tears welled up in Paddy's eyes which he stubbornly cast aside.
"I'm trying guys… I'm really trying… but it's just so hard."
"You still love her, don't you?" Maite asked gently.
"I keep telling myself I should hate her. I want to hate her for what she did to me, but for some reason, the love is outweighing the hate… I miss her so much and it kills me that I'm so damn weak."
"It'll take time, Pad." Joey told him wisely. "Things like this always do. This is your first experience with it and it may seem like there's no hope. But it's not the end of the world. It'll get better. I promise you."
"I don't want it to get better." Paddy admitted quietly. "I just want Agnes back in my arms again."
"Maybe it just wasn't meant to be." Johnny said.
Paddy blew up at Johnny's comment.
"No! It was meant to be! Do you know how hard I worked the whole week trying to win her over? You all thought I didn't stand a chance. Neither did I, actually. But a miracle happened… somewhere along the way, because it was meant to be. When we were together, nothing else mattered at all. She completed me."
"Wow, you sound like Jerry McGuire" Maite smiled.
Paddy wasn't in the mood for humor. He walked over to his door and opened it.
"I'm glad you all think this is one big joke. You say you want me to talk to you, and when I do, you still don't take me seriously. Get out of here… all of you. I just want to be alone."
"I'm sorry, Pad" Maite apologized guiltily, seeing how upset he had become. "It was only a joke. I'm just trying to make you smile."
"I have nothing to smile about anymore. Now please just leave before I have to physically remove each one of you."
They all stood up in defeat, deciding the only way they could help their brother was by giving him his time and space. They walked out in succession, each giving him an encouraging smile or pat on the back.
"Call me if you need anything" Johnny offered.
"And bus leaves at 6AM tomorrow." Jimmy reminded him. "A crowd of 25,000 awaits us in Stuttgart."
Paddy groaned inwardly as he shut the door behind them. He knew he wasn't ready to go back on stage and start performing again. He didn't have the motivation, nor the desire just yet. But how could he disappoint a crowd that large? He climbed back into bed waiting to be graced with the painless escape of sleep, praying that tomorrow would never come.

It's getting sad... See? I told you, I don't know how to write nice and happy stories. You have to do something with this otherwise Paddy will die of love :)) *By the way, he has eyes on a girl from Weather Girls, he has good taste - Good luck, man! :))* Your question is right here: Shall they get another chance?

100% for 'Yes', so they have a chance to meet again in the next part.

{ PART 14 }